ZineQuest 3 - Catpocalypse Meow had Low Stakes but Maximum HP was full of Scoundrels

Ah, sweet, sweet ZineQuest 3. Not even a week in and I think I've already blown by the $250 budget I had set aside for it. Eh, I'm sure I can sell my soul for some coin ;)

In addition to this series of blogposts covering the various projects, I'm also sitting down with a large number of project creators over the next few days and weeks via YouTube LiveStreams. Subscribe at YouTube.com/ErikTenkar so you don't miss a chat, like the one I had this morning with the creator of Low Stakes.

Dirty Bowbe's Roadhouse Presents: Catpocalypse Meow - We are creating Dirty Bowbe's Roadhouse Presents: Catpocalypse Meow, a cat themed role playing games supplement for OSR Games. Mischievous, often maligned, mysterious, and oozing with cuddly cuteness and primeval murder is the noble cat. Here at the Roadhouse we have three and couldn’t be happier with all of their puffy tailed, razor clawed, nap taking, sometimes infuriating, snack demanding cattitude. We took the time out of the rolling quarantines and lengthy social distancing to bring all of their yowling hissing fun to our first ever Old School Rules zine! Dirty Bowbe’s Roadhouse Presents: Catpocalypse Now. Let the fur fly!

So why the Zine and why Now?

A lot of the stuff we come up with doesn’t necessarily fit “in” with the creative direction of other publishers that the old Bowbe usually works with. That is definitely the case with this particular Zine. Catpocalypse Meow is chuck full of purrfect new items, creatures, and adventure hooks for your OSR campaign! This product tips the hat to punsters and funsters of a seemingly bye gone era, with gentle nods to Mark E. Rodgers, Robert Asprin, and heaping helpings of Gary Gygax, and Bowbe’s old mentor Jim Ward for good measure.

A year of quarantine and social distance together saw a lot of D&D and Swords & Wizardry played on Discord with friends and gamers around the globe. During that time we started applying our combined lifetime of gaming and cat friendship into what has evolved into Catpocalypse Meow. The zine is a furious feline themed combination of old school style RPG comics and game ready materials like those once featured in the most popular pen and paper RPG magazine of all time! Original comic tales lead to ready to play mini-adventures. Adventures lead to new treasures, strange creatures, arcane artifacts, obligatory cat butts, insane artworks, crazy cat ladies, forbidden feline temples, canopic kitties, and cat-astrophic spells carefully curated to enrich your OSR gaming table!

Full disclosure: Casey is a friend of mine as well as sharing an association via Frog God Games. Casey will be making an appearance on the Talking Crit Livestream this Wednesday at 9 PM Eastern over at YouTube.com/ErikTenkar

Low Stakes - A Game to Play in the Shadows...inspired by What We Do in the Shadows. Low Stakes is a tabletop roleplaying game inspired by What We Do in the Shadows, both the movie and the TV show. 

In the game, you portray a vampire, werewolf, ghost, mystic, or maybe even a regular ol' human sharing a house together in the modern day. And you’re not very good at it. You'll create situation comedy style stories of gothic monsters trying to get by in a world that has moved on from their day. Conflict, character, humor...it's all there for the taking. 

As stated at the top of this page, I sat down for a Livestreamed Fireside Chat with Craig Campbell this morning.

Maximum HP #5 Kobolds! - The old school zine, for the new school world. Joining Zinequest 2021 with 1E extras. Issue #005 is the Kobold issue of Maximum HP, The old school ’zine for a new school world. In this issue we explore the world of the kobolds, their tricks, traps, and treats. Discover the various breeds, skills, magic, lives, and of course, the dastardly kobold traps.

In this project we are returning to our 1E roots, and releasing this Zine Quest project in the FIRST EDITION of the world's favorite roleplaying game.

We're a 'zine for gamers by gamers. Taking submissions from gamers all over and sharing the best with our readers. We intend to enrich the gaming experience of our readers and help them offer new and unique challenges to their table.

Another full disclosure: I've known Lloyd for years, thanks to NTRPG Con and I own some of his original art. Damn Good stuff!

Tomorrow afternoon at 2 PM Eastern I will be sitting down with Jeff Jones, creator of the Scoundrels Zine for a Fireside Chat. A set of three zines with NPCs, locations, tables and rules to inject a strong crime-theme into your sci-fi (or modern) game. At the most basic level, Zine 1 and Zine 2 of Scoundrels provides 200 unique NPCs to drop quickly into your game. Some are tied to locations, some to gangs, and others are tied to a theme. You can randomly determine NPCs or easily flip through pages. The names are taken from 5 different real-world cultures, making this a great resource for determining names and motivations on the fly for any game.

Scoundrels also taking it to the next level, fleshing out your world with factions, locations and institutions and the NPCs that populate them. The NPCs and factions have motivations, and their writeups evoke way for them to interact with the characters and each other.

There are tables for random encounters with NPCs and tables for adding friends and rivals for the characters. But I didn’t stop there, Ther are additional tables that allow the GM to create crime-related jobs and adventures for the players.  There is even a step-by-step example of me creating a job.

But wait, there is more! Zine 3 provides optional rules for the player characters to have their own crew and be one of the criminal factions in the city. Rules taken from the Blades in the Dark SRD but changed to use with any game system. This provides a framework to create games and campaigns for characters increase the reach and influence in the city.

This is a system-neutral reference that works for any sci-fi game, but easily works with any modern game as well.  I truly believe that this will become one of the most-used GM resource in your arsenal.

I'll be back with more ZineQuest picks on Monday - as well as two ZineQuest Livestreams on Monday and two more on Tuesday. Seriously, subscribe to YouTube.com/ErikTenkar so you don't miss any of them :)

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ZineQuest 3 - Rascals attack The 13th Fleet with Wizard Funk

Today I peek at three currently funding zines that are part of ZineQuest 3. As I mentioned prior, I'll be doing a series of Livestreamed interviews of the creators of various zines during the month of February.

First up is The 13th Fleet. In truth, it reminds me much of the micro and pocket games from SJG, TSR, and others back in the 80s and 90s that I would snag during my pilgrimages to the  Complete Strategist. Note, I was supposed to do a Livestream earlier this morning with the writer of The 13th Fleet but we had technical issues. We will attempt to reschedule. 

The 13thFleet is a light-hearted and occasionally co-operative role playing experience. Officers of the Imperial Armada (and especially the 13th Fleet) have traditionally furthered themselves through ruthlessness, deceit, and the needless sacrifice of disposable Redshirts. While they’ll need to occasionally help each other in order to make it home, the Captains will benefit from causing entanglements for one another. The campaign will end with a clear winner, who will be promoted to Admiral and named Fleet Champion upon their successful return to Imperial Space.

Or it’ll end with the remains of the 13th Fleet floating as cold, dead debris through the dark void of space...

One of the two.

Our next peek is Rascals. Sticking with scifi, Rascals focuses not on the officers, but the talented grunts - or dare I say "Adventurers" of the genre. The focus shifts from the leaders to the survivors.

Note: I'll be having a Fireside Chat Livestream on Friday 2/5/21@8 PM Eastern with Gile Pritchard over at our YouTube Channel.

Rascals is a science fiction table top role playing game of action and adventure. The game system uses traditional playing cards and poker chips, and is designed to bring the tension, twists of fortune, and calculated gambles of action adventure stories to the fore. Rascals is ideal for 2-5 players, including the GM.

You are Rascals: ex-special forces, spies, or crooks. Hard boiled types who worked together in the hottest zones during the former unpleasantness. You were some of the few who managed to get out, make a new life, but something has changed all that...

Now the old crew is together again, you Rascals who survived the bloody final years of terrible war, have been pulled back. An abominable plot is unfolding in secret... 

Rounding out today's picks we have Wizard Funk 3. If you play OSR games in their default genre (is it obvious I'm talking old school D&D and its clones and simulacrums?) Wizard Funk deserves a look. Full disclosure, I consider myself friends with the creators of Wizard Funk. I still think its awesome, but I may be biased ;)

My gaming buddies and I have put together a zine for the sheer enjoyment of it.  We love to play Old School RPGs.  Myself?  I was introduced to D&D back in 1981.  I loved the hobby then and love it even more today.   If you have seen Wizard Funk 1 and 2, then you will have a good idea about what you will get for your hard earned money in Wizard Funk 3.  If you love Old School Rules, then you should take a chance on this KS.  It's not much money and I've been able to deliver a satisfying product in the past.  Fight On brothers and sisters of the OSR!

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ZineQuest 3 - Gamma Zine

I'll be sharing various ZineQuest 3 projects over the next days and weeks, and I'll be doing a series of Fireside Chats (12 in the next 11 days) live on our Youtube Channel (which will then be shared on the Tavern Chat podcast)

Today I'm peeking at Gamma Zine #3. This a zine showing love for the classic Gamma World RPG originally published by TSR. Written and published by Thom Wilson of Throwi Games. Thom has a proven track record with both delivering Kickstarter projects and producing zines.

Do you still play Gamma World or another post-apocalyptic, science fiction RPG? Do you wish there was more material for the games you play? Well, your wish has been granted: a B&W fanzine for your post-apocalyptic game campaign or reading pleasure! In the third issue of Gamma Zine, you'll find three short adventures, new mutated monsters, lost and forgotten tech, and more.

The zine will be black & white, perfect bound, and digest-sized. The size of this third issue is fixed because it's already written!

Although the fanzine will focus primarily on the first edition of Gamma World by TSR, we'll try to keep much of the fanzine flexible to allow the reader to adapt its contents to other systems. However, when statistics are displayed for foes and challenges, we'll use the earliest edition of Gamma World for the rules and stats.

Tonight at 8 PM Eastern, Thom will be joining Bad Mike (NTRPG Con) and myself on our weekly Talking Crit Livestream. In addition to pumping Thom for information about Gamma Zine, we'll drag Thom along on our usual hexcrawl through the past week in Gaming News.

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ZineQuest 2021 - Post the Second - Livestream Fireside Chats Schedule for February 2021

Last night, in the RPG Zine Community on Facebook (a truly amazing community of creators and consumers of zines) I offered to do some Livestream Fireside Chats with creators that are participating in ZineQuest 2021. I expected there would be some moderate interest. Instead, before I went to bed, a dozen creators had messaged me. 

We currently have 10 ZineQuest related Livestreams on the calendar (9 directly covering individual projects), with more to be added. This list will be updated as needed.

Livestreams will be on our YouTube Channel @ YouTube.com/ErikTenkar

Here is the current schedule (with links to the ZineQuest Projects for those that want to follow along at home):

All times are Eastern Time Zone / NYC

Wednesday 2/3 @  8 PM - Talking Crit w/ Bad Mike - Thom Wilson - Gamma Zine

Thursday   2/4 @ 11 AM - Nathan Robert - The 13th Fleet

Friday        2/5 @   8 PM - Gile Pritchard - Rascals

Saturday    2/6 @ 10 AM - Craig Campbell - Low Stakes

Sunday       2/7 @   2 PM - Jeff Jones - Scoundrels 

Monday      2/8 @ 11 AM - Zak Goins - Scrap Rats

Monday      2/8 @   7 PM - James Carpio - Anarchy!

Tuesday      2/9 @ 11 AM - Frank Tufler - The Lair of the Manticore

Wednesday 2/10@ 8 PM-(Talking Crit) Casey Christofferson - Catpocalypse Meow

Friday         2/12@  8 PM - Iron Rations with JoetheLawyer - Tim Shorts -                                                              The Many  Crypts of Lady Ingrade

Saturday     2/13@  7 PM - Joel Hines - Desert Moon of Karth

Wednesday 2/17 through Saturday, 2/20 @ 8 PM each night, Bad Mike & Tenkar will be hosting livestreams with special guests in support of Virtual TotalCon 2021.

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ZineQuest 2021 - Post The First - Give Me Mohr Zines!

It's the most, wonderful time, of the year!  

It's time for ZineQuest!

Whenever I start feeling that Kickstarter is a soulless marketing tool for large publishers and the small ones get lost between the cracks, I find that ZineQuest has come back around and I smile and get all giddy.

In the middle of a cold, Covid filled winter, with a blizzard blowing snow past my window, I get all warmed up by the thoughts of zines arriving in my mailbox as early as the spring.

I actually budget for ZineQuest, as I am loath to recommend a Kickstarter I wouldn't back myself, and as I love zines and enjoy Kickstarter in general, this can be a truly budget-busting endeavor as a consumer if you don't plan accordingly. I've budgeted $225 for backing ZineQuest projects. Hopefully, I can stay on budget this year ;)

Expect the next three days of postings to cover ZineQuest projects, if not longer. In the meantime, you can check the main ZineQuest link here.

As for how I'm spending my NYC 2021 Blizzard, you can watch the following link:

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Scratching an Artistic Itch

 

Maybe three of you guys know that a lifetime ago I used to work in the addiction industry. During that time my boss tricked me into attending a week-long intensive outpatient group therapy "retreat". Don't get me wrong, it was awesome....I worked through some repressed shit and made some friends I'm still in touch with (Group 4 represent!), but I thought I was going to evaluate the place in advance of my company trying to provide some specific business services.....

....anyway, as part of my therapist's recommended future "self care" I was specifically told to take up some more artistic pursuits. This is the biggest reason I started doing maps and writing some game "stuff". While I have been blogging for close to twenty years I do not consider myself an artist or writer, so working on "artistic" pursuits is a stretch for me, which was kind of the therapists point. I'm supposed to push myself and try new shit....which can be a lot harder than you might expect. I can come up with ideas, but execution....that's difficult for me. I love to gather up materials, plan things out, and try to figure out how I'm going to execute, but actually pulling the trigger.....yeah, I procrastinate like a....well, I just do. I know this is a problem for me and a barrier to my own prescribed after-care.

A couple weeks ago when I came down with the Flu (Covid?) I knew I had to do something 'cause if not I'm going to have a problem just wallowing in my sickness and doing nothing but watch TV. I needed a project....and I found one. I decided I'd make some terrain, specifically some round stone & thatch dwellings. I was inspired by this YouTube video by Landvetter's Lair

While this was my inspiration, I wanted to make it my own and do some tweaks. My original idea was to work on the scale of the wattle and try a few different techniques. I actually started on doing four separate buildings. I liked the way the wattle came out, but to say it was labor intensive was an understatement. I think the wattle for each building took eight hours. In retrospect while I got the scale of the wattle how I liked, the buildings, intended to be two story, were still too tall. I don't like the enormous doorways I ended up with.

This whole endeavor took about a solid week and a half of work. At one point the walls of three of the buildings....well, I think they just sucked. I attempted to use thin foam-core and texture using a greenstuff cobblestone roller. While you could see the cobblestone, the moment you worked with it or God-forbid, try to paint it....the cobblestone pretty much disappeared. I ended up ripping the glued foam-core off and applying clay, which does hold the texturing, but had its own problems.

My workspace is a mess I still need to clean up, but I did at least finish....well kind of. My goal was to finish by today's post, but I still need to coat the four models with a protective spray. I'm not sure I'm going to keep these particular models.....I'll probably send them to a gaming buddy who I know will use them at his gaming table.

This whole process has been a PITA, but I did enjoy trying to figure out how to do  few things, and how to fix some mistakes. I already have a couple of ideas on how to improve upon the build process, getting all of the scale how I want it, and where to spend just a little bit of money (not much in the scheme of things though) to improve the outcome. 

I think the thatch roof I did was much easier than in the video and I'm looking forward to trying it in an easier (rectangular) application.

I'm glad to be "done" with this initial project. I hope this was sufficient to scratch my art itch, at least for a while. I have other things I want to work on.....

Aside from the huge amount of time expended here, the actual cost comes down to maybe $3-$4 a piece for these things....seriously. The most expensive supply, use-wise, was probably the Modpodge I used generally to seal various bits and bobs. One of the huts I used plain Modpodge to see how that worked on the "wattle", and some black-ink infused Modpodge was used as a sealer for the clay and the roofs. The foamcore was from the dollar store and the clay was $10 for a HUGE box I used a tiny portion of.

I'm not looking for encouragement or even kind words about this project (I'm not an idiot, I won't turn them down), but I thought it might be nice to share a gaming-related project that I've spent some serious time on. After I seal these models and document my build-process and lessons-learned I hope to be able to revisit this style of building and eventually make a small bronze-age style village.

Kickstarter - Neon Blood (OSR Cyberpunk)

I know that I've said this before, but I love when OSR engined RPGs step into less-used genres. Neon Blood is an OSR Cyberpunk RPG, and I don't think I've seen that before. Very cool :)

Neon Blood is an OSR/DIY (we call our work Dirty-OSR) inspired cyberpunk game set in a version of the world in 2035. We don't need to go very far into the future to see how culture, tech, and politics might shape the future of humanity. It is dystopian, but all hope is not lost for ye who enter here.

The goal of this game is to take the OSR-based RPG system and roughen up the edges, throw in some chrome, pump it full of HiCap neon, and light it on fire. The rules start with the d20, but we make a firefight feel like a frenetic two-way range where your decisions and training will be a matter of life and death. And hacking will never be boring or the side gig; it easily occurs in real-time alongside a firefight without disruption to either team.

The combat is brutal and deadly, and death is one bullet or NovaWire away. Zero hit points isn't the end, but neither is it a handful of chances to not experience what comes for everyone. Even hackers aren't safe; play hacking games, win deadly prizes. As awesome as this sounds, combat is full of player-facing choices to keep your character alive and gunning. But everything comes at a cost in Neon Blood.

10 bucks get you the PDF and digital soundtrack (yes, soundtrack). 30 bucks add in a softcover book of the rules.

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Free OSR - White Lies (S&W White Box)

Swords & Wizardry White Box has become the preferred ruleset of many looking to hack an OSR ruleset into different genres. Sci-fi, Cthulhu mythos, and others have hacked the rules. Heck, my own Swords & Wizardry Light was itself a teardown of the White Box Rules.

White Lies takes the S&W White Box rules and brings it to the spy genre. Think James Bond, the Man From Uncle, Secret Agent Man, and more.

And now White Lies is Free in PDF (and damn cheap in print)

Based on Swords & Wizardry WhiteBox, White Lies brings all the simple elegance of WhiteBox out of the dungeon and into the realm of espionage and paramilitary action and adventure! The digital purchase includes character sheets (both class-specific and blank) and a small Admin toolkit called Echo Team, containing a team of pre-generated level 1 agents for you to use as NPCs or quick players characters.

This product is not affiliated with Covert Ops, our d00lite espionage RPG, though it captures much of the same feel and has some of the researched and developed content repeated or adapted from that product.

Tip of the hat to the Taverner that emailed me the above heads up :) 

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Kickstarter - Welcome To Eastwood (MCC/DCC RPG)

Continuing with my Kickstarter catchup :)

Today we are looking at the Welcome To Eastwood Kickstarter for the MCC/DCC RPGs. It looks to be a "funhouse" sandbox-style local setting/adventure that seems perfect for dropping into a campaign. I'm a sucker for setting material, and sandboxing just adds points ;)

Welcome to Eastwood is a 28pp MCC or DCC sandbox adventure for 1st or 2nd level characters. While it is made for Dungeon Crawl Classics or Mutant Crawl Classics, it could be adapted to almost any RPG world/system. 

The Village of Eastwood

Eastwood is the ultimate vacation theme park. Its "wild west" veneer conceals the techno wizardry of a powerful temporal field. After weeks (or months) at the resort, visitors could re-enter life moments after leaving for vacation, and never miss a day’s work. But neglect of its systems sends the entire park bouncing into distant pasts and futures. 

The adventure begins as the PCs stumble upon a strange “village” that mysteriously appears overnight. Getting into Eastwood is simple, but escaping proves to be a deadly challenge.

The art looks perfect for the described adventure, and it's a low-level adventure, so it should be easy enough to convert to the OSR system of your choice (which is what I do with DCC RPG adventures in any case) 

The PDF is 5 bucks (a bargain), print is 9 bucks plus shipping and print plus PDF is 13 bucks (plus shipping).

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The Humble RPG Book Bundle: 5th Edition Dungeon Extravaganza (includes some System Neutral Sourcebooks)

Looks like we have another RPG Bundle over at Humble Bundle. Although this one is labeled for 5e, as I've stated before, just about any GM can convert from 5e to the OSR will little effort, and many can do so on the fly with little to no prep. Additionally, this bundle has some system-neutral setting pieces that I highly recommend: the regional sourcebook The Duchy of Reme and the Lost Lands Setting book. Both come with rules addendums for 5e, but the sourcebooks themselves are system neutral, and the Lost Lands Setting Book comes with a license for other publishers to publish in the Lost Worlds Setting and reference locations and add to the lore. Now THAT is fucking cool.

Did I mention it includes The Book of Taverns, Volumes I and II? I kinda like taverns, go figure ;)

The Humble RPG Book Bundle: 5th Edition Dungeon Extravaganza comes in at three price points: $1, $8, and $15. The Duchy of Reme is included at the $8 level and The Lost Lands Setting book is included at the $15 price point.

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Zine - Black Lung (Charity Zine)

Cancer is some scary shit. I should know, I'm a cancer survivor, and my health issues in 2020 were directly related to cancer treatment over a dozen years ago (congestive heart failure and the occluded left carotid were likely due to radiation treatment.) Yep, cancer is the gift that potentially keeps on giving to survivors, even years down the line.

2020 is also the year that Rocky found out that he had lung cancer. See, we didn't need Covid to make 2020 a truly shitty year, cancer and its lasting effects did a fine job fucking 2020 up on its own. When I found out Rocky had cancer, I literally teared up immediately. Rocky isn't just a good friend, but a damn good person, and he didn't deserve this. No one ever deserves this.

Rocky's battle is ongoing and he could certainly use your support. More importantly, his family needs it. Rocky is a husband and father of three young boys. 

Black Lung, the Charity Zine is being distributed by Frog God Games and is available in PDF format with variable pricing. All proceeds go to assist Rocky and his family, Frog God Games is merely facilitating distribution. Donations range from $15 to $150. The Tavern will be donating at the $150 mark.

Black Lung is a charity ‘zine to support an RPG designer and his family during their fight with cancer.

Authors include: Casey Christofferson, Levi Combs, Jack Cull, Alyssa Faden, Ala Fedorova, Skeeter Green, Greg Gillespie, Keelan Halvorrsen, Brendan LaSalle, Ian McGarty, Gabe Rotberg, James Michael Spahn, and Jim Wampler 

What is Black Lung?

This ’zine is a collection of pieces from a wide swath of the RPG community. Why did all of these authors and artists offer their time? To help a friend in need. And that is what this ‘zine is, people doing what they love for someone they love.

Is this a fundraiser?

All proceeds from this venture will directly benefit the family of RPG author, layout mastermind, father, and husband, Rocky Gardner as they combat the lung cancer that laid him low.

What is inside? 

Inside, you will find adventures, monsters, magic, and technology for a variety of game systems including adventures compatible with Shadowrun, Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition, Swords and Wizardry, Dungeon and Mutant Crawl Classics, and Labyrinth Lord. There is something for everyone between these covers. 

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News - Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman to Publish a New Series Based on Classic Dragonlance

I suspected something was in the works when they had their lawsuit against WotC dismissed - Tenkar

Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman to Publish a New Series Based on Classic Dragonlance - https://www.facebook.com/trhickman

Wilmington, NC – January 25, 2021 – Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman are pleased to announce a multi-year licensing agreement with Wizards of the Coast to produce a new, three book series of Classic Dragonlance novels.

The new trilogy will return fans to the most beloved characters from the original novels along with introducing a new strong protagonist. The books will be published by Del Rey Books, an

imprint of Penguin Random House. Although a publishing date has not yet been formally set, they anticipate announcing when the first book will be released later this year.

“We couldn’t be happier to be returning to the world we love,” says Margaret Weis. “Dragonlance is what brought Tracy and I together so many years ago. We’re thrilled to be able to do this for existing lovers of Krynn while bringing our beloved characters to a new generation of readers.”

The first Classic Dragonlance novel, Dragons of Autumn Twilight, was written by Weis and Hickman and published in 1984. Since that time, more than 190 novels have been published in the setting. Weis and Hickman have collaborated on numerous series over the last 30 years including projects set within the world of Classic Dragonlance and outside of it. Two notable series are The Death Gate Cycle and The Darksword Series, both published by Penguin

Random House.

“We credit the fans of Dragonlance for making this journey possible,” says Tracy Hickman. “We wrote this series out of our thanks to them for this amazing life-long journey...and from our wish that they join us once more on the road to Solace.”

The license for the series was secured by Weis & Hickman in 2018. Their recent dispute with Wizards of the Coast was resolved at the end of 2020, with all parties pleased to have come to agreement on how best to move forward with the trilogy. All are focused on 

producing the best series possible and will not comment on the past dispute other than to say it has been resolved.

Watch for additional news from Weis and Hickman about Classic Dragonlance and other projects on the horizon in the coming months

"Painful" Lesson Regarding System Differences

 

Just a head's-up that today's post is something like 96-103% PC storytime and if that's a turn-off consider this your warning to just come back to the Tavern tomorrow. Also, kind of adult content, possible trigger? Adult content as in Porky's, not as in serious adult content ;)

I've mentioned before that I had a HUGE gaming dry spell between 1996 and 2003, or so.....not that other years were bountiful, just better. I had picked up HackMaster on my honeymoon in late 2002 and we started hitting the FLGS (Favorite Local Game Store) the next year. One friend I made through the FLGS was Rob.

Rob was a medically retired Army vet who happened to be stationed in the same place I was....at the same time even. He was just in the next barracks over and in another unit so out paths just didn't cross "back in the day". Of course we hit it off playing many games at the FLGS and I eventually got into his gaming group. Ugh, that group was painful with Rob as a GM, way too social and mental for my tastes. We'd have entire sessions where no dice were slung. Not my style of game. We used to joke that Rob had his detail settings set too high...he could tell you exactly how many field mice were f*&king in a specific pasture 3 counties over.

Some of us ended up getting together for another, "looser" game that Rob wanted to run for us and this would be my real intro to D&D 3.5 since I could start from scratch with my PC, and I had finally gotten a PHB. I probably should have spent more time reading said PHB, but if I had then the rest of this story never would've happened.....

Anyway, I have a habit of running a very specific type PC whenever I start a new fantasy RPG in that I try to make the absolute best Archer that I can. This time I went with some sort of Elven Cleric of a gawd (I know, but "gawd" is an old HackMaster habit I'm not keen to drop) that had a bow as a preferred weapon. One casting (I hope I remember the spell name right) of True Strike and I'm pretty much guarantied to hit my target, especially after I multi-class a bit into Fighter.

I end up naming this PC BALADAR (yes, it is capitalized!) after a big joke we had while creating PCs. The bit was some back-and-forth about two gamers who get married and have a kid they decide to raise as a self-aware PC. BALADAR was the name we came up with for this poor bastard kid. 1st Day of Kindergarten BALADAR.....btw he speaks of himself in third-person....is sent to school with a pinned note showing his stats "My Intelligence is a 7!" and that 1st day is rough. "BALADAR wants a juice-box! BALADAR wants a nap!" After describing BALADARs various foibles, and laughing for a good half hour at this piece of group fiction, I HAD to name my next PC BALADAR.

We started this new game as 1st level nobodies in a desert seaport. As a group we decided that we didn't want an "urban" campaign and would rather get out of BFE (if you don't know this one......consider yourself fortunate to not have lived there). We didn't have much money between us and figured that it would be much better to get paid to travel to somewhere else instead of the alternative. Working as a caravan guard seemed easy enough, all we had to do was secure employment. BALADAR took off with our Sorcerer.....basically our most Charismatic PC to go find a caravan merchant that needed more muscle.

After some effort we finally find a group that could use more manpower but there's a hitch. The caravan matron, a large attractive-forty-years-ago-maybe, woman has her pick of new guards and why should we be picked up instead of another group? The Sorcerer pitches our abilities.....having a Cleric and Sorcerer as well as a couple of fighters (one was actually a thief, but why mention that?) could prove useful, but to no avail. In what I'm sure is a bit of the GM fucking with the player, the Matron would much rather get a little kick-back in the form of being "serviced", by the Sorcerer. The desert can get cold and lonely at night, after all......

Now these little side discussions between NPCs and PCs were rather common in Rob's games to begin with, and usually not held at the table, so those not actively involved rarely pay much attention. Hell my PC isn't even actively involved....he's just "there" off to the side, but I am trying to listen in the best I can.

So here we have, in-character, some old-fashioned straight-up sexual harassment Quid Pro Quo. Can't get much worse, right? Well the Sorcerer decides instead of taking one for the team, or declining outright....., he'll go ahead and pimp out my PC instead. Wait, what?

He does the old, "My buddy at the bar wants this on his tab.....*waves at guy to get him to nod and/or wave back*" trick and this part I completely fell for 'cause I didn't hear the lead-in. The GM has me enter the conversation and explains that not only did the Sorcerer explain that BALADAR was more than happy to "service" the Matron, my acknowledgement from across the room was considered binding. 

Again....wait, what?

Of course the Sorcerer has hightailed it and BALADAR isn't going anywhere until the deed it done, as it were. This is when I had what I thought was an epiphany....BALADAR wasn't a 1st level Fighter, he was a 1st level Cleric. I have just the spell for this occasion (I hope at least one of you sees where I'm going...): Command.

Command (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1    Components: V   Range: 1"    Casting Time: 1 segment   Duration: 1 round    Saving Throw: Special   Area of Effect: One creature

Explanation/Description: This spell enables the cleric to issue a command of a single word. The command must be uttered in a language which the spell recipient is able to understand. The individual will obey to the best of his/her/its ability only so long as the command is absolutely clear and unequivocal, i.e. "Suicide!" could be a noun, so the creature would ignore the command. A command to "Die!" would cause the recipient to fall in a faint or cataleptic state for 1 round, but thereafter the creature would be alive and well. Typical command words are: back, halt, flee, run, stop, fall, fly, go, leave, surrender, sleep. rest, etc. Undead are not affected by a command. Creatures with intelligence of 13 or more, and creatures with 6 or more hit dice (or experience levels) are entitled to a saving throw versus magic. (Creatures with 13 or higher intelligence and 6 hit dice/levels do not get 2 saving throws!) BALADAR casts Command: Orgasm Yeah, suck it GM! I got over on your little machinations, anc screw that other player too! Should work, right? Yeah......no. That spell block above...that's for 1st Edition D&D, which was what I was used to. D&D 3.5 run the spell a bit differently...d'oh! Command Enchantment (Compulsion) [Language-Dependent, Mind-Affecting] Level: Clr 1 Components: V Casting Time: 1 standard action Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels) Target: One living creature Duration: 1 round Saving Throw: Will negates Spell Resistance: Yes You give the subject a single command, which it obeys to the best of its ability at its earliest opportunity. You may select from the following options. Approach On its turn, the subject moves toward you as quickly and directly as possible for 1 round. The creature may do nothing but move during its turn, and it provokes attacks of opportunity for this movement as normal. Drop On its turn, the subject drops whatever it is holding. It can’t pick up any dropped item until its next turn. Fall On its turn, the subject falls to the ground and remains prone for 1 round. It may act normally while prone but takes any appropriate penalties. Flee On its turn, the subject moves away from you as quickly as possible for 1 round. It may do nothing but move during its turn, and it provokes attacks of opportunity for this movement as normal. Halt The subject stands in place for 1 round. It may not take any actions but is not considered helpless. If the subject can’t carry out your command on its next turn, the spell automatically fails So now I'm fucked, literally? We get back to the game table and the GM explains to the other players what happened and how bad I failed to thwart the Sorcerer's manipulation. Good news though! We can still take our place as caravan guards for this trip since BALADAR stayed true to his "word" and made sure the Caravan Matron was "pleased" with her hiring decision. Yeah........not sure if I was more pissed or disappointed. I know I'm an adult and if it really bothered me I could have shot a proverbial flare up and waved the bullshit flag. I got worked over and thought I could flip the script through creative spell use, but nope. I'm not sure how this scenario was supposed to have gone, not sure how I would've gotten revenge either, but that's because it was all too much for BALADAR. He died in out very 1st combat encounter. Since 3.5 isn't exactly thought of as an overly deadly game I'm thinking he died of shame, it just took a while for the dice to come around to do their part.