When I read the Kickstarter page for Beneath: The Inverted Church I couldn't stop cringing. Strangely, not so much for the "adult content" (it certainly isn't "mature") but from the sheer absurdity of it.
Look at the above quote. First, it's not an RPG, it's an adventure for use with RPGs. Second, as for almost any existing RPG system, that much is true, so long as that system is D20 based.
Savage Worlds? GURPS? Traveller? FATE? Nope, the stats are D20 based.
Oh, and notice the shitty map?
Well, there's worse.
Now I know what you are saying: "Really, it can only get better, right?"
Yes, you "seduce" doors open. I definitely don't want my players explaining to me how they are going to caress, stroke or otherwise "seduce" a door. Besides, who the fuck would want to seduce a door anyway? I've heard of folks having a shoe fetish but I don't recall anyone whacking off to a door. Ewww. The thought alone makes me cringe.
BTW, do you think that "one scene" mentioned above is a rape scene? I'll bet you two well endowed doors it is. "Randomized sexual atrocities and treats?" There is a way to treat adult subject matter and I'm fairly sure this isn't it.
The last thing I want to hear is the sexual fantasies of my fellow gamers. Sure, we could use our digression, but I think discretion would be a far better choice.
Would this scenario work for certain groups? Sure. If everyone has a door fetish I'm sure it would play well. Maybe a group that digs sexual atrocities? Well, not so sure, but whatever.
Just make sure the existing RPG system you use is D&D derived, or you wont be able to use any of the crunch. As for the fluff...
But hey, the art isn't bad at all.
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Kickstarter - Beneath: The Inverted Church (Seduce the Doors and Enter - WTF?)
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I got nothing...
ReplyDeleteI want to know why the headless panther can heal PC with 2 1's on d6s.
ReplyDeleteObviously it's some sort of sexual healing. Obviously...
DeleteThe extra-dimensional "invert" areas have the property that PCs gain +N hit points per attack (this is due to reasons), so I assume it's something related.
DeleteMark my words - next time you bust out Castle of the Mad Archmage and run it for the B-team, Mirado will become Mirado Door-Seducer. Maybe more, if the door fails to resist Mirado's moderately above average Charisma.
ReplyDeleteYou need to sell it Peter. You need to tell the group exactly "how" and "what".
DeleteBonus points if we can record it and post it to GamingBallistic Blog ;)
You that Mirado's not the type to Knock and tell.
DeleteThere will be some Marvin Gaye music going on before the door is fully seduced, obviously. There is a verbal component as well as material and somatic ones.
"Randomized sexual atrocities..."
ReplyDeleteDafuq?!
The dwarf approaches the iron-shod door and strokes his beard..."Oh lassie...it's been many a year since I have seen a finely crafted knocker such as this! If only there were two." Turning back to the party and with a slight blush he continues, "Give me a moment lads, I need to show this door the true meaning of dwarven steel..."
ReplyDeleteAt long last, an adventure designed for FATAL. (Sarcasm, and I can't even remember if FATAL was d20-based and I don't want to look it up).
ReplyDeleteBacked it because its a trainwreck and worth a few bucks to peer into the mind of madness.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support. You should listen to the Full Metal RPG podcast -- they actually asked for an advanced copy of Beneath so they actually know what they're talking about.
DeleteRisks and Challenges: "We've got a few people looking at the book for red flags while we play test it some more."
ReplyDeleteSomeone fails to comprehend . . . .
Seems to me that if a character "performing a sexual act on themselves or another before the doors" makes the GM, their or another player uncomfortable that the act of whispering it in the GMs ear would only make it worse. Not better. Imagine what GoblinTown or Peter higher in the thread is going to describe. Now imagine their lips scant inches from your ear, their hot breath against your fleah as they describe the act...
ReplyDeleteI rest my case.
I hope anyone who expects my lips scant inches from their ear has the decency to wait the customary 3 sessions and shell out for pizza. I'm not that kind of goblin.
Delete"I want to kick open the door"
ReplyDelete"Why don't you bang on it first?"
"Or, why don't you just BANG THE DOOR?"
"Sorry, still have the splinters from last time...."
To quote a classic:
ReplyDelete"The horror ... the horror ..."
This hilariously awesome comment thread only proves that sex does belong in RPGs... but should not be managed by uninitiated.
ReplyDeleteThe guy is supposed to be a published author yet we get gems like this:
ReplyDelete"BENEATH can be played with almost any existing RPG system." (top of the page blurb)
"It can be played with almost any modern RPG system." (just below that)
"Hey! What system does this book/series work with?"
"This is an OSR (old school revival) kinda game--and, I hope, system-agnostic. I suggest using The Black Hack if you're new to tabletop gaming or, if you're experienced, use your favorite system." (from the FAQ)
It's for every game and yet no specific game, simultaneously.
This might help ya. http://writerjustinsirois.blogspot.com
DeleteHey guys, thanks for the honest feedback. I am open to criticism and am improving things as I go. That said, this is a DIY project.
ReplyDeleteFull Metal RPG got a hold of the first draft and they have nothing but great things to say. Podcast here:
https://soundcloud.com/full-metal-rpg/episode-28-beneath-the-inverted-church-kickstarter-review
Justin - if you want to engage in a discussion, calling me out in a G+ Community I am not a part of is not the way to do it.
DeleteJust so you know, my assessment was shared by others, as you can gather from the comments prior to yours.
Also note - this is an aged post. Comments will be posted after moderator approval (this is a setting to prevent stealth spam) so don't assume you are blocked or your post was deleted - I just need to get around to approving it.
pure garbage...
ReplyDeleteI had a character who wanted some free disadvantage points and picked coitophobia. Without any graphic descriptions, I created a few scenes where the phobia was invoked, like a metal clad door with a bas relief of a troll that would smile if the doorknob was turned. It was funny once in the abstract, but this is a bit much.
ReplyDeleteAll good! And apologies for the G+ "calling out". The comments above are GOLD. They perfectly prove Full Metal RPG's take on high buy-in on a mature campaign like this. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete