Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Wherein I Offend & Apologize

Part of the responsibility of having a bully pulpit such as The Tavern is to acknowledge mistakes through actions not completely thought out. It has come to my attention that my previous post has caused distress for some. It wasn't my intention. I was objectively commenting on a product pulled from OBS' virtual shelves (temporarily at the moment) for being flagged as offensive. My suggested solution, half in jest, was to point out the poor choice of wording in the first place.

I had no intention to be insensitive to the horrors of rape, and having personal knowledge of rape survivors (my son's mother was one, God rest her soul) I have seen the pain that never fully heals first hand.

Sometimes being an objective voice lends one to fail to hear the more personal experiences others have had to suffer through.

Where I might not find offense, others may and will and my voice is certainly not more valid than any other in this or any discussion.

As always, The Tavern is open to any who desire to post their thoughtful opinions.


  1. I don't even see where you were offensive. You were just talking about content that someone out there was uncomfortable with to show the facts. One of the reasons I love your blog is because you tell it like it is. You have even called me out a few time on my Tales From the Fallen Empire Kickstarter. I appreciate your honesty, your fact finding, and your debunking. When you are someone who supports the truth, a lot of people are going to throw stones or try to bully you to think and talk just like them. It was good to apologize, if you felt the need, but please do not ever stray from keeping it real. The day that great bloggers like yourself have to self censor your content will be a sad day indeed.

    1. James, I don't censor myself as I think we have seen.

      Just acknowledging that others may have reactions to my words that I did not intend. We all are formed by our experiences, good and bad. I can't account for how others may react but I can empathize with them.

      There was no bullying here. A third party came across a social media post where someone reacted poorly to my earlier post based upon their past experiences. Neither I nor The Tavern were mentioned by name but the topic was clear.

  2. Objectivity doesn't exist. Having said that, I was not offended by your post.

  3. Very smooth and well thought out response instead of the typical response after giving offense (which is what I often do) which is to double-down and point to all the people who didn't take offense as proof that it isn't offensive.

    I need to learn to do that more often.

    1. Offense is in the eye of the beholder.

      We actually had something like this in our recent sensitivity training. While much of the training had little worth, this held some value and a change of perspective for an old timer like me ;)

  4. I think it was brave of you to apologize and recognize the sensitive nature of that topic. Especially these days when common decency and courtesy looks like some sort of weakness, or worse, some sort of Commie/Socialist agenda to undermine 'Merica.

  5. I don't think you minimized the horror of rape and I don't think the word rape should be forbidden except to survivors.

  6. The original post stands as is. This is my acknowledgement that others carry baggage and experiences that are unique to them. While I can't account for how everyone will receive what I post, especially on sensitive topics, but I can empathize with those who don't receive my words as I intended.

  7. I believe this was directed towards me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart Erik, this is unexpected and means the world to me. Being a rape survivor isn't easy, but I don't expect people to censor themselves or even leave rape (the word or the concept) out of all media. I was asking for sensitivity towards rape survivors who may speak their opinions about said media. Not everyone agrees with that, but you clearly understood what my message was and took steps to make amends. It means so much, thank you.


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