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Thursday, July 26, 2012

Win Some DCC RPG Swag! Post a 0-Level Occupation

Alright, here we go. The 2nd Monthly Dungeon Crawl Classics RPG Contest. This month's contest topic is: 0-Level Occupations.


Here's what you need to do to enter:

1 - Add a comment to this post using the following example's format:

Occupation: Town Guardsman
Trained Weapon: Short sword
                              Trade Goods: Set of Manacles


2 - Add a description if you would like, but it's not needed.

3 - You're done!

The current prize list is as follows:

   1 Copy Each of Crawl! Issue #1 AND Issue #2 - which will go to the winner of my choice. This is where creativity will take precedence.  Dak Ultimak will mail them (read this as "physical copies") to the winner, so I'll be asking the winner for their snail mail address. (courtesy of Dak)

  2 Copies of Ooze Pits of Jonas Gralk (courtesy of Purple Sorcerer Games) in PDF to random entrants

  1 Copy of Perils of the Sunken City (again, courtesy of Purple Sorcerer Games in PDF to a random entrant

  1 Copy of Attack of the Frawgs! (courtesy of Thick Skull Adventures)

  1 Copy of Bone Hoard of the Dancing Horror (courtesy of Purple Duck Games)

adding more prizes to the pool!

   5 winners (who, in my judgement, have an entry that makes me laugh, giggle, say "holy shit!" or simply "Wow!") will win their choice of one of the first 16 releases from the Toys For the Sandbox series AND their choice of either TFTSB #23 Pirate Island or #24 The Lost Colony. The first part of this prize selection is from me and the second part is courtesy of Quinn Conklin, the writer of the Toys For the Sandbox series. How f'n cool is that?

Note: Entries to this contest may be used in a forthcoming issue of Crawl! Your commenting on this post means you acknowledge and accept that your entry may be placed in the hands of future readers of Crawl!, the DCC Fanzine and / or used in a free iOS or Android App or webpage by Purple Sorcerer Games.

Entries must be in by midnite, july 31st, 2012 EST - Enter as often as you may like, but only one entry will count towards the random prize pool. One prize per winner. End edit ;)


95 comments:

  1. Elvish Kite-Maker

    Scissors (as dagger)

    Kite, string, 100 yards

    "always looking at the sky"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Here's a few occupations to use as starting material. It's the rough list I used many moons ago for some project or another.

    Actor
    Advocate
    Alchemist
    Animal Handler
    Apothecary
    Architect
    Archer
    Aristocrat
    Armorer
    Artisan
    Artist
    Astrologer
    Baker
    Banker
    Barbarian
    Barber
    Bard
    Barkeep
    Barmaid
    Beekeeper
    Beer Seller
    Beggar
    Blacksmith
    Boatman
    Boatswain
    Bookbinder
    Bookseller
    Bowman
    Bowyer
    Brewer
    Brothel Keeper
    Buckle Maker
    Builder
    Butcher
    Caravan Leader
    Carpenter
    Cartographer
    Chandler
    Charioteer
    Chatelaine
    Chef
    Chieftain
    Chirurgeon
    Clergy
    Clerk
    Clock Maker
    Cloth Worker
    Commander
    Concubine
    Cook
    Cooper
    Copyist
    Counselor
    Courtesan
    Courtier
    Cowherd Crossbowman
    Cutler
    Daimyo
    Dairymaid
    Diplomat
    Distiller
    Diver
    Diviner
    Domestic Servant
    Emperor/Empress
    Eunuch
    Explorer
    Farmer
    Fighter
    Fisherman
    Fishmonger
    Fletcher
    Footman
    Forester
    Freighter
    Furrier
    Galley Slave
    Gambler
    Gardener
    Geisha
    Gladiator
    Glove Maker
    Groom
    Guild Master
    Harness Maker
    Hat Maker
    Hay Merchant
    Healer
    Hearthwitch
    Herald
    Herbalist
    Herder
    Hermit
    Highwayman
    Hunter
    Illuminator
    Innkeeper
    Interpreter
    Inventor
    Jailer
    Jester
    Jeweler
    Jongleur
    Judge
    King
    Knight
    Laborer
    Lady
    Lady in Waiting
    Leather Worker
    Limner Locksmith
    Lord
    Maidservant
    Majordomo
    Man at Arms
    Mason
    Masseur
    Mercer
    Merchant
    Messenger
    Midwife
    Miller
    Miner
    Minstrel
    Monk
    Mortician
    Mourner
    Navigator
    Necromancer
    Noble
    Nun
    Nurse
    Page
    Painter
    Pariah
    Pastry Cook
    Peasant
    Perfumer
    Philosopher
    Physician
    Pigkeeper
    Pilgrim
    Plasterer
    Potter
    Priest/ess
    Prince/ss
    Professor
    Purse Maker
    Quartermaster
    Queen
    Ranger
    Ratcatcher
    Rigger
    Ronin
    Roofer
    Rope Maker
    Royal Adviser
    Rug Maker
    Ruler
    Sailor
    Samurai
    Scabbard Maker
    Scribe
    Sculptor
    Saddler Scavenger
    Scholar
    Scrivener
    Servant
    Shaman
    Shepherd
    Ship’s Captain
    Ship’s Mate
    Shipwright
    Shoemaker
    Silversmith
    Slave
    Slaver
    Smith
    Soldier
    Sorcerer/Sorceress
    Spice Merchant
    Squire
    Stable Hand
    Storyteller
    Steward
    Street Kid
    Surveyor
    Swineherd
    Swordsman
    Sycophant
    Tailor
    Tanner
    Tavern Keeper
    Tax Collector
    Teamster
    Thatcher
    Thief
    Tinker
    Torturer
    Town Crier
    Trader
    Trapper
    Vendor
    Vermin Catcher
    Village Chief
    Vintner
    Viking
    Warlock
    Warrior
    Water Carrier
    Weaponsmith
    Weaver
    Wet Nurse
    Wine Seller
    Witch
    Wizard
    Woodcarver
    Woodcutter
    Wood Seller

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Wayward Journey just gave you lads and ladies training wheels!

    ReplyDelete
  4. It was a bit spammy. Sorry about that.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Occupation: Dung Picker-Upper

    Trained Weapon: Pitchfork

    Trade Goods: Fertilizer

    ReplyDelete
  6. Occupation: Goblinoid Dungeon Janitor.

    Trained Weapon: Broom (As Quarterstaff but with double damage against things of a mucky nature, such as ooze).

    Trade Goods: Sack of Trash (but one mans trash is another mans treasure).

    "Some enter the dark bowels of the earth seeking gold, glory and, purpose... This guy seeks to clean up after them".

    ReplyDelete
  7. Occupation: Sycophant
    Trained Weapon: Foil
    Trade Goods: Very fancy clothes, makeup.

    You found someone rich and made a career of flattery. Then it went wrong, and you're looking for something new.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sin-Eater

    Trained weapon: Crutch/Cane (as club)

    Trade goods: Wooden bowl & mug, a little bread & ale.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Latrine-Digger

    Weapon: Shovel

    Trade Goods: Smells like ass

    ReplyDelete
  11. @Jez - I'm sure the link and the associated list rocks, but that is not the format for entering the contest - which is an extremely simple format - sorry for the delete - if it was a regular thread i'd have left it up

    ReplyDelete
  12. @Erik - absolutely no prob.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Penguin Milker (Milker of Penguins)

    Trained Weapon-Penguin Yoke (as club)

    Trade Goods-Bucket

    ReplyDelete
  14. Bosun's Mate

    Trained Weapon: Cat (as mace or club)

    Trade goods: Purloined cables

    Castrato

    Trained weapon: Little knife (as dagger)

    Trade goods: Fine soprano voice

    Landbound Midshipman

    Trained weapon: Dirk (as dagger)

    Trade goods: Oversized uniform

    Nerf-herder

    Trained weapon: Crook (as club)

    Trade goods: 1d4 nerf

    ReplyDelete
  15. Halfling Potato Carver

    Knife

    a carving knife and 1-14 potatoes (I had to include a zocchi roll)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Stylite. It has Vancian provenance afterall.

    Comes with 30' rope attached to a bucket.

    Weapon: cat-o-nine-tails (d5 subdual).

    The occupation knows about religion, balance, and dealing with inclement weather. When your 'job' is to sit atop a pillar for years you get intimately familiar with the weather. ...

    I originally posted this on the Goodman forums, seemed well-received.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Water Carrier

    Weapon: Staff

    Goods: two wooden buckets

    Barber

    Weapon: Knife

    Goods: metal bowl

    ReplyDelete
  18. Dwarf Dentist

    Trained Weapon-Hammer

    Trade Goods-Chisel, Sack of Teeth (6d6)

    Not real good on the preventive care side of things-but for extractions they tend to get the right tooth in less than three tries.

    ReplyDelete
  19. My two entries:

    1. Occupation: Leech Collector
    Trained Weapon: Dagger
    Trade Goods: Bag of leeches

    These unfortunate souls collect leeches for physicians. They typically do this by wading into leech-infested waters, letting the leeches attach to their legs, and then prying them off and selling them to a doctor.

    2. Occupation: Fuller
    Trained Weapon: Club
    Trade Goods: Bale of wool

    The fuller spends his days cleaning the impurities out of bales of wool...by soaking them in a vat of ankle-deep urine, which they stand in, and pound the wool with their hands, feet, or a club.

    ReplyDelete
  20. dwarven bar-maid

    heavy tankard (as club)
    battered serving tray (as shield)

    trading goods, smiles, lies, kisses, and a overheard rumor

    ReplyDelete
  21. Occupation: Worminger
    Weapon: Worm goad
    Trade goods: 3 vials of worm medicine (unpredictable effects on non-worms), collection of worm scrapers and probes.

    Occupation: Ceremonialist (each title will be different, examples: "Lord High Portreeve of the Stars and Garters"; "Under-Chatelaine Pursuivant to the Council of Insignificant Trades"; "Bailiff and Cryer for the Court of Groves and Orchards.")
    Weapon: Ceremonial mace (gems already pawned)
    Goods: Fancy, easily mocked outfit; small handbook of court protocol

    ReplyDelete
  22. Occupation: Turkey wanker

    Weapon: Feather duster

    Trade goods: Pair of soft, leather gloves

    ReplyDelete
  23. Occupation: Assistant torturer

    Weapon: whip

    Trade Goods: grey hood (as an assistant you don't get to wear the black one)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Occupation: Peat Cutter
    Weapon: Spade
    Trade goods:
    some peat, shovel

    ReplyDelete
  25. Occupation: Courtesan
    Weapon: Stiletto blade with hidden garotte and razor in handle
    Trade Good: Sewing & Makeup Kit

    ReplyDelete
  26. Occupation: dwarven beard decorator.
    Weapon: razorblade, 1d5 dmg.
    Tradegoods: ribbons, glass pearls, beard decorations.

    In the dwarven halls, ones class in society is reflected in the gaudiness of ones decorated beard. Now, it is time to take this craft to the world beyound.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Sausage maker
    Weapon: a large string of sausages or salamis (10 lbs)
    Trade good: d4 dogs who follow him around drooling (will chase a thrown sausage, even into combat)

    Sick and tired of stuffing meat into intestines. Now I'mma take these dogs and sausages into that treasure pit and get rich.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Occupation: Assistant Pig-Keeper
    Trained Weapon: Stick (1d4)
    Trade Goods: Runaway Pig

    Well, the pig got away, and if you go home, you'll never hear the end of it. Time for you and your pig to seek your fortune!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Occupation: Beach/Bank Comber
    Trained Weapon: gaff hook (polearm)
    Trade Goods: Manky, dank net bag.

    You've pulled things out of the river/ocean long enough to see some truly disturbing things.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Occupation: Chicken Sexer
    Weapon: Broom, bellows
    Trade Goods: eggs & feathers

    ---

    Occupation: Food Taster
    Weapon: Dinner Spoon
    Trade Goods: 1 bottle fortified wine

    ---

    Occupation: Knitter
    Weapon: Rusty needles & Dull scissors
    Trade Goods: Unspun wool

    ---

    Occupation: Hayward (hedge trimmer)
    Weapon: Shears
    Trade Goods: Cut flowers

    ---

    Occupation: Oyster Raker
    Weapon: Rake
    Trade Goods: Crushed oyster shells, seaweed

    ---

    Occupation: Unguentary
    Weapon: Sticky spoon
    Trade Goods: Various glues & adhesives

    ---

    Occupation: Weirkeeper (keeper of fish traps)
    Weapon: Trident
    Trade Goods: Dried fish & fishmeal

    ---

    Occupation: Woodmonger
    Weapon: Rough wooden club
    Trade Goods: Firewood

    ---

    Occupation: Fresco painter
    Weapon: Paintbrush & palette
    Trade Goods: Paint

    ---

    Occupation: Besom maker (broom maker)
    Weapon: Broom
    Trade Goods: Brooms & corn stalks

    ---

    Also: take a look at the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics Occupational Outlook Handbook for some more possible weird jobs.

    And this handy list is good for medieval occupations

    (if I get selected as a winner, I already have both issues of CRAWL!)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Occupation: Firefly Wrangler
    Weapon: Nets of all kind
    Trade goods: Bladders of light

    Occupation: Hemp Artificer
    Weapon: Soothing smoke
    Trade goods: Handwoven ropes and nets.

    ReplyDelete
  32. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  33. One more:

    Occupation: Poseur Assassin

    Trained Weapons: Segmented flail and throwing knives.

    Trade Goods: Black pajamas and head wrappings; segmented flail and 3 throwing knives, each decorated with scorpions, spiders and dragons but of cheap workmanship (1/6 chance of breaking with each attack, flail head will fly in a random direction).

    ReplyDelete
  34. Teenage boy from 1980s

    Trained Weapons: Segmented flail and throwing knives.

    Trade Goods: Black pajamas and head wrappings; segmented flail and 3 throwing knives, each decorated with scorpions, spiders and dragons but of cheap workmanship (1/6 chance of breaking with each attack, flail head will fly in a random direction).

    ReplyDelete
  35. Occupation: Postal Rider
    Weapon: Pepper Spray (as acid splash)(to fend of aggressive dogs)
    Trade goods: Information

    "Because, when you control the post, you control....INFORMATION!"

    ReplyDelete
  36. @SAROE: Actually, I had "Mall Ninjas" in mind ;)

    ReplyDelete
  37. Occupation: Dog Whipper

    Trained Weapon: Whip

    Trade Goods: Large wooden tongs (for canine removal)

    ReplyDelete
  38. Occupation: Groom of the Stool (wiper of the King's royal behind)

    Trained Weapon: Varies By Culture

    Trade Goods: rags or tissue

    ReplyDelete
  39. Occupation: Sapper

    Trained Weapon: Pick

    Trade Goods: Spade

    ReplyDelete
  40. By the way, all three were real world jobs at one point, groom of the stool being a highly prized position.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Occupation: Grammar Guard

    Trained Weapon: Pen (1d2 dmg)

    Trade Goods: Dictionary

    God forbid if your half-orc bararian can't tell the difference between a plural and possessive noun.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Occupation: 10ft Barge-Pole Maker (he's rather tall)

    Trained Weapon: Sharpened Barge-pole (as a spear).

    Trade Goods: 11ft Barge-Pole (for things you wouldn't touch with a 10 footer).

    Novelty Barge-Pole Keychain (a twig on a piece of string, minus any keys).

    Steel Helm (for all those bumped heads on door frames when he forgets to stoop).

    ReplyDelete
  43. Occupation: Pyromaniac

    Trained Weapon: Torches (as club with the potential to ignite flammables)

    Trade Goods: 1D6+1 Torches, 1D3 Flasks of Oil, Flint, Tinderbox.

    "Why did we hire this guy again? - Dimbuldorff the Bemused"

    ReplyDelete
  44. Beekeeper
    Weapon: 2d5 troops of trained bees (as throwing knives)
    Trade goods: 1d3 jars of plain honey, 1d3 varieties of flavored honey (1d2 jars each)
    Covered in infected-looking stinging sores

    Organ grinder
    Weapon: Squeezebox (as club)
    Trade goods: Monkey, tiny fez hat

    Halfling Battle-Haggler
    Weapon: Scale (As flail)
    Trade goods: Ledger, abacus, sack of wooden coins (worth is debatable)

    Giant-slayer
    Weapon: handaxe
    Trade goods: 2d25 beans (1 in 40 chance of beanstalk growth when thrown)

    Street Musician
    Weapon: 1d55 razor-tipped cards (as darts) (52 cards+2 jokers+"How to Play Halfling Hold 'Em")
    Trade goods: Flowers, scarves rabbit, 1d4 pigeons

    ReplyDelete
  45. Body Snatcher
    Weapon: Dagger
    Trade Goods: Humanoid Body (deceased)

    You collect the deceased to sell them to Wizards, Warlocks and Chaos Cultists.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Rat Catcher
    Weapon: Ratters Staff (as Staff)
    Trade Goods: Small but vicious dog

    Ok, that one was stolen ...

    ReplyDelete
  47. Elven Dance Instructor
    Weapon: Dagger
    Trade Goods: Dancing Shoes and Cool Moves that make the Ladies go Whooo...

    ReplyDelete
  48. Occupation: Whaler
    Trained Weapon: Harpoon (as Javelin)
    Trade Goods: ivory dice, scrimshawed walrus tusk

    Typical whalers are predisposed to drinking,cursing,whoring,and gambling.They also make fine storytellers.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Occupation: Dog Walker
    Trained Weapon: Stick (as club)
    Trade Good: 1d3 dogs
    ---

    Occupation: Bar Back/Wench
    Trained Weapon: Dagger
    Trade Good: Towel

    ReplyDelete
  50. Got this without Wayward's list:

    Tanner
    Knife (as dagger)
    2 yards of leather

    ReplyDelete
  51. Baker
    Rolling Pin (as club)
    1 pound flour (wheat, rye, spelt, etc)

    ReplyDelete
  52. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Occupation: Shrubber

    Trained Weapons: Shears, scathing social commentary

    Trade Goods: landscaping skill (seasonal), 1d5 seedlings,(seasonal), 2d4 pouches of varied shrub seeds, advice

    "Judging by the undergrowth,no one has propitiated an oppressive,class-conscious deity at this forsaken temple at the expense of honest laborers for at least 50 years..."

    ReplyDelete
  54. Occupation: Link Boy

    Trained Weapon: Wooden Club

    Trade Goods; Flask of Oil, 1d4 torches

    ReplyDelete
  55. Royal Food Taster
    Weapon: Fork (as dagger)
    Trade Good: Antidote powder

    ReplyDelete
  56. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Occupation: Window Tapper
    Trained Weapon: Staff
    Trade Goods: 10' pole and candle lantern

    Description: Paid to wake folks in urban areas by tapping on their windows/shutters (ground and first floors) using a candle lantern suspended from a long pole.

    ...

    Occupation: Curse Scriber
    Trained Weapon: Hammer
    Trade Goods: Lead sheets, small hammer, scribing tools

    Description: Paid to inscribe curses, which are then nailed to the appropriate place, temple, sacred spot, victim's front door, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Saw this near the top of the page linked by mwschmeer and liked the concept:

    Occupation: Thimblerigger
    Trained Weapon: Knife (as Dagger)
    Trade Goods: 3x Thimbles and pea

    And one of my own:

    Ocupation: Mariner
    Trained Weapon: Oar (as Club)
    Trade Goods: Sea Astrolabe

    In the event it comes up, I already own "Ooze Pits of Jonas Gralk" and "Perils of the Sunken City" so if I get selected on those just pass it on to another at random.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Aaand the last one I promise:

    Occupation: Royal Poison Taster
    Trained Weapons: Throwing knives, throwing plates
    Trade Goods: Salt and pepper shakers; other half of the poisoned dry sausage you threw to the dog just before quitting the job for good.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Ocupation: Gossipmonger

    Trained weapon: Dagger

    Trade goods: Parchment and ink.

    Description: Fancy getting under the skin of the town and finding out all of its dirty little secrets? This is the occupation for you. Finding juicy gossip and pinning it up about town is your trade. If anyone wants to know anything more important, however, then it will cost them extra.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Halfling Hippie
    Trained weapon : Garden hoe
    Trade goods: pipe and pound of pipeweed

    ReplyDelete
  62. Occupation: Charcuter d'Offal

    Trained Weapons: Sharp knives, strong tongs, large grinder.

    Trade goods: Bladders, beaks, hooves and eye-balls. Daemonherders-pie and biting-sausage.

    An expert in using what the sausage maker won't.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Copier Repairman
    Trained Weapon: Screwdriver
    Trade goods: Toolkit
    Description: You were fixing that cranky IBM Copier II at the bank when: "Flash!" followed by "Where the heck am I?"

    ReplyDelete
  64. Halfling tobacco farmer.
    Weapon: rake 1d4
    Tradegoods: pipe, 1d3 bags of pipeweed with 1d12 sp worth left in each.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Occupation: fence
    Weapon: dagger (stolen, chances are npcs at startup area will recognize it as their own)
    Trade goods: two randomly chosen things from the equipment table. Stolen, of course.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Occupation: Messenger
    Trained Weapon: dagger
    Trade Goods: A good pair of boots
    (+1 to Stamina)

    Description: Messengers were lesser diplomats of the lord who carried receipts, letters, and commodities. The occupation of a Messenger was often dangerous as if the message delivered was less than favorable the Messenger was often the victim of the incurred anger of the recipient leading to the saying "Don't kill the messenger". Messengers were eventually made exempt from punishment by Law due to the news they delivered.

    -----------------------------

    Occupation: Painter
    Trained Weapon: Paint Scraper (treated as -1 dagger)
    Trade Goods: Toolbox filled with various shades of pigments and brushes.

    Description: Medieval castles were highly colorful and the services of painters were often required. They also painted signs and structures.

    ReplyDelete
  67. City Watchman
    Weapon: truncheon
    Trade Goods: dragon hand-puppet

    ReplyDelete
  68. Occupation: Fop
    Trained Weapon: Rapier
    Trade Goods: Snuffbox

    ReplyDelete
  69. Flagellant
    Weapon: thick knotted rope (treat as club)
    Trade Goods: A scrap of fine cloth, purported to belong to a saint

    Mushroom farmer
    Weapon: trowel (treat as club)
    Trade Goods: a pound of excellent mushrooms

    Truffle Hunter
    Weapon: pig-beating stick (treat as club)
    Trade Goods: a trained truffle-hunting pig

    ReplyDelete
  70. Gnome Gigolo
    Trained weapon: Sword cane (dagger)
    Trade Goods: Look at the nose

    ReplyDelete
  71. Buffoon
    Weapon: Jester Stick (club)
    Trade Goods: Grease paint, belled hat and shoes

    ReplyDelete
  72. Bowyer
    Weapon: Bow
    Trade Goods: Wood working knives, arrows

    Carter
    Weapon: Hammer
    Trade Goods: Cart, stone blocks

    Dyer
    Weapon: Stirring Paddle (Club)
    Trade Goods: Cloth, Jars of dye

    ReplyDelete
  73. Occupation: Horse Trainer

    Weapon: Whip or Lasso

    Trade Goods: Tack set, horse-hair crafts


    Occupation: Apprentice Jeweler

    Weapon: Hammer (One-handed)

    Trade Goods: 1d6 uncut gemstones

    Reason for taking up the Adventuring life: Got a little too enthusiastic and turned a nice-sized gem into several smaller ones.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Elven Mime

    trained weapon, Dagger

    Trade goods, white face paint, fancy black clothing, beret.

    "why dosent he just open the door, its not really there"

    halfling tight rope walker

    trained weapon, pole, (as staff)

    large net and coils of silk rope, fancy silk outfit

    "dont laugh, its a long way down for someone that short"

    Dwarven rodeo clown

    trained weapon, club

    trade goods, empty barrel, make-up kit, large felt nose

    "and there goes El Torro, again"


    philosophy student

    trained weapon, quill, as dart

    trade goods, 1d7 rolled scrolls on various philosophy's

    "i think, therefore i am dragon kibble"

    ReplyDelete
  75. Here's mine!

    http://urudnd.blogspot.com/2012/07/0-level-occupation.html

    ReplyDelete
  76. Royal Bed Bouncer
    Trained Weapon: Staff
    Trade Goods: Luxurious Goose Down Pillow.

    Description: Turns down royal bed covers at night and checks for traps including "bouncing" on the bed to make sure there are no explosive devices installed.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Academe
    Trained Weapon: Staff (got to hit the sass in the back row)
    Trade Goods: Quill and Ink

    ReplyDelete
  78. Occupation: Dodgy Scribe
    Trained Weapon: Pen, ink and scroll
    Trade Goods: Liable, slander, stolen magic. Truth and true names.

    Not only does this Scribe write outlandish love-letters, but writes blessing and curses on all media - paper, spellbooks, walls, tattoos, armor, minds and hearts. Usually "borrowed."

    ReplyDelete
  79. Occupation: Keeper of the Wolf.

    Trained Weapons: Traps, swords, keys, toe nail clippers.

    Trade Goods: Fearless companion. Goodwill to those who wish for it. Toe nail clippers.

    The tiny "wolf" might "keep" the human. There are also wine, coffee, magic cheese balls. We are also enemies of Ravens, Llamas, Chipmunks, other humans and other dogs. Friend of Quetzalcoat. Trout are strange.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Occupation: Spice Merchant

    Trained Weapons: Mortar and Pestle

    Trade Goods: 2d6 jars and assorted spices

    ReplyDelete
  81. Occupation: Badger Wrangler

    Trained Weapons: Pitchfork (as spear)

    Trade goods: 2d6 truffles of different flavors

    ReplyDelete
  82. Occupation: Hitchhiker
    Trained Weapon: Towel
    Trade Goods: 1 Annotated Travel Guide

    ReplyDelete
  83. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  84. Occupation: Toad Wrangler
    Trained Weapons: Toad-Goad (as Spear)
    Trade Goods: Stretched Toad-hides, Toad-Jerky

    Occupation: Apprentice Pickler
    Trained Weapons: Ladle (as club)
    Trade Goods: 2d4 pounds of pickling brine, jars, lids, maybe some wax

    Occupation: Handle-Maker
    Trained Weapons: Hand-axe
    Trade Goods: Assorted hammer, axe and similar handles in a sack

    Occupation: Pure-Finder
    Trained Weapons: Shovel
    Trade Goods: Too many pounds of dog shit

    Occupation: Windmill-repairer
    Trained Weapons: Hammer, heavy canvas-needle (as dagger)
    Trade Goods: 200' of stout rope, random assortment of canvas patches, 300' tough cordage

    Occupation: Hide-Scraper
    Trained Weapons: Scraper (as dagger)
    Trade Goods: 2d4 full skins of poorly tanned leather or raw-hide

    Occupation: Chalk-cutter
    Trained Weapons: Dagger
    Trade Goods: 1d6 pounds of raw chalk

    Occupation: Old-Style Tanner
    Trained Weapons: Club
    Trade Goods: rancid animal brains, badly tanned leather

    Occupation: Bucket-maker
    Trained Weapons: Hammer
    Trade Goods: 3d4 Buckets

    Occupation: Parchment-maker
    Trained Weapons: Dagger
    Trade Goods: 1-2 goats

    Occupation: Torch-wrapper
    Trained Weapons: Club, Torch
    Trade Goods: Torches

    Occupation: Water-Dowser
    Trained Weapons: Dowsing rod, shovel
    Trade Goods: Almost always knows where to find water

    Occupation: Cat-Skinner
    Trained Weapons: Dagger
    Trade Goods: 1d4 angry cats in a box

    Occupation: Sand-Bagger
    Trained Weapons: Shovel
    Trade Goods: 3d4 empty burlap bags

    Occupation: Charcoal-burner
    Trained Weapons: Scoop or tongs
    Trade Goods: 1d4 pounds of charcoal

    Occupation: Ex-Mucker
    Trained Weapons: pitchfork, broom and shovel
    Trade Goods: Keys to the stable

    Occupation: Quill-cutter
    Trained Weapons: Dagger
    Trade Goods: 2d4 pounds of un-cut feathers

    Occupation: Cobbler's Assistant
    Trained Weapons: Hammer
    Trade Goods: 3d10 hob-nails, assorted pieces fo unfinished shoes

    Occupation: Spider-Handler
    Trained Weapons: Forked staff
    Trade Goods: Spider-poison antidote

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  85. Occupation: Bartender
    Trained Weapon: Club
    Trade Goods: Cask of Ale

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  86. Occupation: Lice-Picker
    Trained Weapons: Large Shears (as dagger)
    Trade Goods: Assortment of fine-tooth combs and large jar of Hannister's Secrete Herbyl Grease

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  87. Occupation: Groom
    Trained Weapon: pitchfork
    Trade Goods: reins, leather repair kit, shovel, leather oil
    ***
    Occupation: peat cutter
    Trained weapon: shovel
    Trade Goods: barrow, peat, (& anything found in the peat)
    ****
    Occupation: lace maker
    Trained weapon: scissors &/or(depends on the type of lace - wood bobbins (throwing knives), knitting needles (as stilletos), tatting shuttles with thread (garrotte)
    trade goods: lengths of lace, scissors, thread, beeswax, beads
    ***
    Occupation: smoker (smokes to properly age pipes)
    Trained weapon: breath
    Trade goods: pipes, pipeweed, pipe cleaners

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  88. Occupation: Scrimshaw
    Trained Weapon: Engraving awl
    Trained Goods: Ivory

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  89. I'm surprised no one's done this one:

    Occupation: Tinker
    Trained weapon: Tin snips (dagger)
    Trade goods: kitchen implements, repair tools, bag, maybe a donkey

    Occupation: Hedger (trims hedge rows)
    Trained weapons: hedge clippers (short sword)
    Trade goods: clippers, clippings

    Occupation: butler (tends to the wines and alcohol beverages)
    Trained weapons: bottles (clubs)
    Trade goods: wine, mead, corkscrew, other alcoholic potables

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  90. Occupation: Hairdresser
    Trained weapon: Hair sticks (1d2 dmg; exotic weapon)
    Trade goods: 1d4 pairs of hair sticks (roll 1d4 for material); hair gel jar

    1. wood
    2. bone
    3. metal
    4. crystal

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  91. Occupation: Pie maker.

    Weapon: Wooden rolling pin (as club).

    Trade goods: 1d4 pies (roll 1d100 on the Pie table below) & metal pie mold.

    Motto: "I don't sell to orcs!"

    Pie table
    1. Aloo pie
    2. Apple pie
    3. Bacon and egg pie
    4. Bakewell tart
    5. Banana Cream Pie
    6. Banoffee pie
    7. Bean pie
    8. Bedfordshire clanger
    9. Bisteeya
    10. Black bun
    11. Blackberry pie
    12. Blueberry pie
    13. Bob Andy pie
    14. Bougatsa
    15. Boysenberry
    16. Bridie
    17. Buko pie
    18. Bundevara
    19. Burek
    20. Butter pie
    21. Caramel tart
    22. Cheese pie
    23. Cherry pie
    24. Chess pie
    25. Chicken and mushroom pie
    26. Chinese pie
    27. Coconut Cream Pie
    28. Cookie Cake Pie
    29. Corned beef pie
    30. Shepherd's pie
    31. Coulibiac
    32. Cumberland pie
    33. Curry pie
    34. Custard tart
    35. Derby pie
    36. Empanada
    37. Fisherman's Pie
    38. Flan
    39. Flapper pie
    40. Fleischkuekle
    41. Fried pie
    42. Gibanica
    43. Homity pie
    44. Hornazo
    45. Jamaican patty
    46. Kalakukko
    47. Karelian pasties
    48. Khachapuri
    49. Knish
    50. Key lime pie
    51. Killie pie
    52. Lemon meringue pie
    53. Manchester tart
    54. Meat pie
    55. Meat and potato pie
    56. Melton Mowbray pork pie
    57. Mince pie
    58. Minui pie
    59. Mississippi mud pie
    60. Natchitoches meat pie
    61. Neapolitan pie
    62. Öçpoçmaq
    63. Pastilla
    64. Peach pie
    65. Pecan pie
    66. Pirozhki
    67. Pizza Pie
    68. Pork pie
    69. Pukka Pies
    70. Pumpkin pie
    71. Pyrih
    72. Quiche
    73. Raspberry pie
    74. Razzleberry
    75. Red velvet cake pie
    76. Rhubarb pie
    77. Salteñas
    78. Sambusac
    79. Scotch pie
    80. Sea-pie
    81. Sfiha
    82. Shepherd's Pie
    83. Shoofly pie
    84. spinach pie
    85. Stargazy pie
    86. Steak and kidney pie
    87. Steak pie
    88. Strawberry pie
    89. Strawberry rhubarb pie
    90. St. Stephen's Day pie
    91. Sugar pie
    92. Sweet potato pie
    93. Tarta de Santiago
    94. Tiropita
    95. Torta caprese
    96. Tourtière
    97. Treacle tart
    98. Vlaai
    99. Woolton pie
    100. Zelnik

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  92. Occupation: Dwarven Apothecary
    Trained Weapon: Pestle (As Club)
    Trade Goods: 1d3 Vials (See table for contents; All contain alcohol.

    Vial Contents
    1 - Antitoxin
    2 - Baby Soothe
    3 - Mother's Milk
    4 - Cave fish Oil
    5 - Dwarven Snake Oil
    6 - Extract of Puffball
    7 - Olive Oil
    8 - Ragnar's Sober Solution
    9 - Beard Wax
    10 - Slugbutter
    11 - Eye Drops
    12 - Mouthwash
    13 - Belly Grease
    14 - Vodka

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  93. Occupation: Game Designer
    Trained Weapon: 20-sided die
    Trade Goods: 2d100 rule books and modules

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  94. and the contest is officially closed :)

    let me just say: "Holy Shit! You folks are great!"

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