Friday, April 20, 2012

DnD Next is the RPG Equivalent of the Movie Dusk to Dawn

Wait! Hear me out on this one. I actually do have a line of reasoning for this train of thought.

1 - Dusk to Damn starts out as a gross out crime thriller, then turns into a wacky vampire flick.

D&D Next started out as One Game to Rule Them All, and has now turned into Bruce and Monte Bring Their House Rules to 3rd Edition.

2 - A combination of some very good and some very bad acting in Dusk to Dawn.

A combination of some good ideas and some very bad ideas presented so far for D&D Next.

3 - To entice people into the Titty Twister, Cheech Marin's character goes into his "pussy sales pitch", which ends with "If we don't have it, you don't want it"

To entice people to buy into D&D Next, Monte and Bruce have been doing their "D&D Next sales pitch" which sounds something like this:

We have all types of D&D!

Old School, New School, No School!

With Grid, Without Grid, With half a Grid!

Simple, Complex, Shaken not Stirred!

Lots of options, few options, no options!

Vancian Magic, at will powers, no powers!

With Dice, Without Dice, Dice that roll themselves!

If we don't have it, you don't want to play it!

4 - Both have clerics, although I am not sure clerics in D&D Next can still make holy water. If they can, I'm sure a Holy Water Super Soaker can't be far behind.

5 - Dusk to Dawn ended with few survivors and a briefcase full of money.

- D&D Next hopes to have some of it's designers survive the annual WotC Christmas Purge. They would also like a briefcase full of money, preferably yours.


  1. Bravo, sir! This made me laugh on a Friday. The part about the Cheech Marin's sales pitch is particularly clever, ending with a suitcase of money.

  2. "With Dice, Without Dice, Dice that roll themselves!"

    I love this!

  3. LOL. Very funny, and probably very accurate!

  4. Enjoy the show folks, I'm here every day ;)

    I just flew in from Greyhawk, and if I seem light on my toes, I still have a few minutes left on my Potion of Flying...

  5. haha nice, especially the Cheech analogy

  6. There's actually a holy water super soaker in Booty and the Beasts.

  7. Will there be a _Lapdog of Satan_ character template we can apply?

  8. I want a _Lapdog of Satan_ character template...


Tenkar's Tavern is supported by various affiliate programs, including Amazon, RPGNow,
and Humble Bundle as well as Patreon. Your patronage is appreciated and helps keep the
lights on and the taps flowing. Your Humble Bartender, Tenkar

Blogs of Inspiration & Erudition