And Here You Thought WotC Was Trying to Milk Their Customers

Well, WotC IS trying to constantly milk their customers by making books obsolete while still trying to claim compatibility.  Heck, they still haven't released their VTT  and I've let my Insider Subscriber status lapse a long time ago.

Still, nothing beats Activision's plans for Call of Duty, Modern Warfare 3.  Lets see, if you want to play on an XBox 360 or a PS3, you have to pay to subscribe to their networks AND Activision wants you to cough up a monthly fee to them too.  I'm not even counting the 60 bucks for the game iteself.

Hey, its a Wall Street Journal Story!

Tenkar's Tavern - Two Years of Blogging

Two years ago today I started blogging. I actually reserved TenkarsTavern on Blogspot a year earlier, but the posting didn't start until May 31st, 2009.

Two whole years. I remember when getting 20 hits in a day to my site was a highlight. Heck, my early templates had a bug in the comments HTML - which is why no one ever commented ;)

Now its two years later. I'm still enjoying the whole blogging thing. Even with the OSR blog schism at happened a while back I find the OSR corner of the RPG hobby to be the most vibrant. I love it here, and plan on being here for the long haul.

If I'm lucky, I'll still be enjoying this in another 20 years. ;)

Holiday Weekend Wrap Up - Or - Why I had a Great Weekend and Accomplished Crap

I had an excellent four day weekend.

On Friday I shopped and prepped for my son's birthday party.

Saturday was the day of the party.  Went better then I could have ever hoped.  My fiancee's family and my family met for the first time.  No hiccups ;)  The kid racked up the gifts and I met some of his friends.  They seem level headed and cool.  One even asked me how my son ever found himself such an amazing family (this is as I was driving them all home).  Left me speechless ;)

Sunday was "bum around the yard and enjoy the sun" day.  Which I did very well with, as my left shoulder (and it's newly resident sunburn) will attest to.

Today was my son's actual birthday.  Took him shopping (and driving -  the lad loves to drive).  Small ice cream cake after dinner, so he got to celebrate twice.

Didn't do ANY wallpapering or painting.  I really need to get cracking.  It's getting hot these days too.  Damn it!

I'll be reading more Raggi and Zak tonight (as I have been during my free time this weekend).  Vornheim REALLY works much better in dead tree then it does in PDF.  Some of those charts tho' are way too f'n small in font size!  Grrrrrrrrr!

Of Dwarves and Hobbits and Weird Fantasy

I've been thinking quite a bit the past few days about Dwarves and Halflings in LotFP's Weird Fantasy Ruleset. Deluxe rules or Grindhouse Edition, it doesn't matter which... these class races are hosed.

D&D is an offensive game. He that brings the most damage to the table tends to win.

Dwarves will average one extra hit point per level over a fighter. By level 9 that's 9 extra hit points, at the cost of +9 to THAC0, or whatever the kids call it these days. The Dwarf can't hit for shit, but he might be able to take an extra blow. Maybe. Oh, and he can press and do something else too. The Elf can do the same, and can cast spells.

Halflings are even more hosed. 1 less hit point on average then a fighter will gain each level, but he saves great. So, zero offensive value, moderate "Polish Minesweeper" value. Or just use a specialist, as the spec will actually brings useful skills to the table (and possible backstab damage too).

When James says he play tested these rules, and moved his game from BFRP to WF, I can't see how he had anyone playing a Dwarf or a Halfling at the time. Which is irksome, as I've been enjoying my read thru of the rules, even more so this time around then with the Deluxe Edition (which was good too, but this trip has been even better).


edit: can't comment on my own blog... i love blogger... here is my comment -

stuart, let me put it another way:

Fighters bring combat ability to the table

Clerics, MUs and Elves bring magic to the table

Specialists bring a boatload of useful skills to the table

Dwarves bring an extra HP per level

Halflings bring better saves then the other classes.

I'm not talking optimizing, I'm talking about bringing something to the party. The party is more then the individuals, that I know. But if you aren't helping the party, you are a hinderance.

Fighting, magic and skills vs HP and saves.

I know halflings were an afterthought (James said so when Deluxe was released). As for Dwarves...

brian:

k, read that wrong. yes, extra HP is nice, but next to worthless if you can't hit. Which is why you are house ruling some combat adds as he gains level.

now, if you gave the halfling half the skill points of the specialist, that might balance out too ;)

Beer, Sun and Vornheim

After yesterday's awesome birthday party for my son, I'm enjoying the beautiful weather in my backyard with a beer, iPad and Vornheim in hand.

Zak has some hilarious charts. I'll have to post my second part of the Vornheim review soon, as well as part three of the Weird Fantasy review.

In the meantime: beer, sun and reading ;)

First of Three

Today is my son's 18th birthday party.

Next Saturday is my fiancee's and my engagement party.

The following Saturday in my old gaming group's Gathering of Fools party.

Sometime in all that I need to squeeze in gaming and wallpapering.

Did I mention today is the first meeting of the two sides of the family (well, soon to be family)?

Fun, fun ;)






- Posted from my iPhone

Netflix Gaming Inspiration - Flashpoint

My son dragged me kicking and screaming into watching the Flashpoint TV series on Netflix.  It details the activities and actions of the Strategic Response Unit.  The city is unnamed so far, but I'm pretty sure Toronto is where it is set.

As far as a SWAT type unit, this one has all the toys.  It also has personalities and an ongoing background story even tho' each episode wraps up fairly neatly - kinda like a good gaming session with a nice background thread.

Now, my son would watch 3 or 4 episodes a nite if he could, but my limit is one or two.  Each episode is a fairly realistic roller-coaster ride.

I could see this making a good sourcebook for a modern era GURPS campaign, or even adapted to a sci-fi ruleset.  Not sure I could make this work for a fantasy game, but if it did, it would be with Rune Quest or some other skill based ruleset.

Damn, i really have to put some thought into this.  It could be fun.

It's The Holiday Weekend! (at least in the States)

I extended my holiday weekend by taking today off.  I had to.  We are celebrating my son's 18th birthday tomorrow and I have lots of stuff to prepare.  You only turn 18 once.

I'm hoping it is also a weekend I can get some things done, both around the house and gaming wise.  Matt, over at Mythmere's Blog is still looking for articles for the next Knock Spell.  You have until June 15th.  Get cracking.  I may work on a second article (the Bard class is already submitted).

Alright, time to start cleaning for the 2 dozen peeps my son invited ;)

The Draconic Archeologist: Mix n Match- The Dragon Issue #8

I've stepped away from The Dragon Mags for a bit... there was just too much other stuff to get to.

Dragon #8 suffers from some sloppy editing.  It's forgivable tho.  It was literally cut n' paste back in the day.

Still, we get a nice article on The Planes.  Damn thing was a real PITA to try and upload ;)

1) Purple, The PRIME MATERIAL

2) Yellow, The POSITIVE MATERIAL PLANE

3) Grey, The NEGATIVE MATERIAL PLANE

4) Lt. Blue The AIR ELEMENTAL PLANE

5) Red The FIRE ELEMENTAL PLANE

6) Green The EARTH ELEMENTAL PLANE

7) Blue The WATER ELEMENTAL PLANE

8) Orange, The ETHEREAL PLANE

9) Lt. Blue, The ASTRAL PLANE

10) Blue, The SEVEN HEAVENS

11) Lt. Blue, The HAPPY HUNTING GROUNDS

12) Blue, The TWIN PARADISES

13) Lt. Blue, OLYMPUS

14) Blue, ELYSIUM

15) Blue/Grey, GLADSHEIM

16) Grey, LIMBO

17) Red/Grey, PANDEMONIUM

18) Red, The 666 LAYERS OF THE ABYSS

19) Lt. Red, TARTERUS

20) Red, HADES

21) Lt. Red, GEHENNA

22) Red, The NINE HELLS

23) Red/Grey, ACHERON

24) Grey, NIRVANA

25) Blue/Grey, ARCADIA

Of course, the article on the Development of Towns in D&D just the above article in half... why?  But wait, the second part of the Planes article cuts the Town article in half.  Sigh.  

About 10 pages to part one of a serialized piece of fiction.  10 pages out of 32.  I'm not even counting ads.  Where's the gaming stuff?

There is a intro to Gamma World, but it's basically another page of fiction.

Rob Kuntz gives us a Gem and Jewelry table.  Tables rock!  We can even roll carat size.

The Featured Creature was actually a name and design contest.  Here's the Erol Otus art.  Got a name for it?

More Metamorphosis Alpha.  Apparently they expected it to be a bigger hit.

Eh.  Far from a great issue, but there's a few gems in the mix.

Review - Vornheim - Part the First (Impressions)

Vornheim bills itself as "the complete city kit".  I think the keyword here is "kit".  When you buy a "build your own computer kit", the expectation is somewhere between "some assembly required" and "shit, I need some experience and skills to build this shit".  Vornheim is a "kit".  It is not the City of Waterdeep Boxed set.  It is mostly of the "some assembly required" level, but parts may leave you going "shit - do I not understand the instructions or do I just lack the skills?"

First things first.  Do NOT purchase the PDF with any expectation of printing yourself a full copy.  With the black borders on nearly every page, your ink cost will probably surpass the price of buying your own hardcopy.

Zak S. from DnD With Pornstars writes and does the art.  Zak and James Raggi did the graphics design.

As a plus, the PDF mirrors the book.  As a minus, the PDF mirrors the book.  Let me guess... "WTF?!?"

Here's my issues with the layout:

First, the black page borders that I mentioned above.  That should have been ditched in the PDF version.  It looks pretty cool in the book, but for those that want to print out their PDF - they're screwed.

Second, page  5 of the PDF, is a map that is displayed sideways.  While rotating a book is never a big deal, rotating my monitor is.  Why not change the orientation in the PDF?  I can enlarge a PDF page a lot easier then rotating my 28" screen.  Oh, and the map is confusing as all hell, but... its a decent piece of art.  This may become a reoccurring theme.

Most of the book is a font size of 9 - readable in the print version, very nice on the screen.  Mother of God! but they went with a 6.5 font for some of their charts.  What were they thinking?  Maybe it's because I've hit the big 40 and then some, but the print version of these charts is close to unreadable for me.  I don't need  glasses for reading or close work, but I would never be able to use the charts with the 6.5 font at my gaming table without killing the PCs to vent my frustration.  Which is a shame, as I can read them fine (still small tho') on my screen, which I won't have with me at a game.  Or I can read them with my iPad  and just zoom and scroll.  Simple idea... if it needs an excessively small font size to fit, use more pages, edit the text... do anything but make me go blind.  Still, when I can read them they are useful, intriguing and original.  Maybe I'll cut / paste to Pages or Office and print the ones I need.  I shouldn't have to is the point I'm trying to make.

Here's the plusses on the presentation:

Excellent artwork.  Not your normal artwork, it's about as twisted as Zak's blog, but it works in this case.  Vornheim is far from normal and that is reflected in the art.

I'm a sucker for flow charts in gaming books.  Don't ask me why, it must have been high school science. Zak has some sweet ones.

You can print out the "Roll a D4" Charts that are on the inside book cover, especially nice if you didnt get the preorder bonus from LotFP.

Alright, that was more bitching then praise, but it was also more about the wrapping then the meat of Vornheim.  I'll dig deeper in the next part of the review

Death, The Final Frontier

I barely stepped out of the elevator at work when I was informed our cleaner had passed away. He was discovered this morning, at work, in a room only the cleaners had access to. He apparently had a heart attack last evening.

That whole spiel of "live each day as if it were your last, because someday it will be", it means what it says. We do not choose how we will die, but you can choose how you will live.

Alright, less depressing shit in tonight's posting :)

Review - Weird Fantasy Grindhouse Edition Boxed Set (LotFP) - Part The Second

Time to move on to the meat of the review.  The rules.  If you have the LotFP Weird Fantasy Deluxe Edition, you've seen much of this before, but the presentation is much better.

Character generation is 3d6 in order.  If the character modifiers and up to less then zero, you get to ditch the character.  Yes, very old school.  There is one thing to keep in mind - stat modifiers are very important in WF.  With only fighters increasing in combat ability and the extreme rarity of magic items in the default setting, having good stats can make a huge increase in your character's survivability.  It doesn't mean your character has less viability necessarily, as the rules are fairly lethal in the first place.

We have 4 human character classes, which are pretty much the 4 core classes of the OSR.  Then we have the classic demi-human classes: Dwarf, Elf and Halfling.  I'll discuss the human classes first.

Fighters are the only ones that increase in combat.  They have the best HD after the Dwarf and have access to combat maneuvers.  In current gaming parlance, they are the party's tanks.  They get access to the combat maneuvers Press and Defensive Fighting.

Clerics are the party's healers.  Many spells are changed from the norm you might expect, but I'll be covering that at a later point.

Magic-users are those that deal with forces that man is not meant to know with.  Again, many spells have changed from what you know.

The biggest change from the baseline is the Specialist.  More then a thief, his skills and abilities revolve around a D6.  If you want to experiment with adding classes to Weird Fantasy, the Specialist is the base to work from.

Dwarves have the best HD in the game.  They do NOT increase in combat ability but they do get access to the Fighter's Combat Abilities.

Elves are sort of a Fighter / MU combination.  Better HD size then a magic-user, spells like a MU, combat maneuvers like a Fighter but w/o the Fighter's increase in to-hit.

Halflings are the "Saving Throw Specialists".  I don't know what else to say about them.  Maybe the party can use them "Polish Mine Detectors" (not tying to be offensive here).  They seem pretty useless.  Come to think of it, Dwarves seem pretty useless too.

I understand why James does away with an increase in combat abilities for all but fighters, but it does make the Dwarf and Halfling Racial classes pretty worthless, especially if you only have a party of 4-6.
So I'd personally remove them from the players choices and leave them as NPCs, or you risk handicapping the party in an already pretty lethal game.

So ends the second part of the LotFP Weird Fantasy RPG Grindhouse Edition.

Coming Up On Two Years of Blogging

Next Tuesday, May 31st, will make two years of blogging for me (I actually started the blog 3 years ago, but never posted until 2009). It's amazing how fast time passes. I'm also surprised that I found the time to start blogging the day after my son's 16th birthday. Following the math, he turns 18 this holiday weekend. Busy times but fun times.

Last year I spent $10 for google to allow me to use my own domain name. They handled it all on their end, one of the easiest transactions I've ever placed on the internet. Goggle/Blogger hosts my blog, but you don't need to add "blogspot" to the web address. Well worth 10 bucks a year.

Hopefully I've learned how to keep things interesting and entertaining. That being said, I'm still learning. Please, forgive the post that land flat. I'm sure there are many ;)

Now I need to think of something for the 2 year anniversary post... and the 1k post is sneaking up too.

Mini Review - The Chronicles of Amherth (Labyrinth Lord)

The Chronicles of Amherth is a campaign setting for Labyrinth Lord.  The adventure Atarin's Delve is included as a part of the package.

So, what exactly do you get for your five bucks?  In The Chronicles of Amerth, we get a setting based on (but greatly fleshing out) the Duchy of Valnwall that is included in the Labyrinth Lord core rulebook.  I'd have to dig my LL book out to see just how close it hues to the original, but I suspect it's fairly close.

There's a twist on the magic using classes (that the GM is free to ignore) in that there is the addition of "Latent" magic.  We are also given a chapter on Gods and Demi-Gods and another on the world history.

I like the use of a detailed Adventurer's Guild.  It makes things a bit easier then using the usual tavern scene (not that I have anything against taverns) to give the PCs an adventure hook.

The Known World section details the continents of Amalor and Herth and the rest of the world.  There is enough given to help the GM flesh out the world without block him into too much of a corner.  Still, plenty (really - lots and lots) of plot hooks for each major location to make this the sandbox you want it to be.

Flora and Fauna gives us some useful flora for the PCs to use, or misuse.  It also give us over 40 new monsters, which is a nice addition to the LL monster list.

Magical Treasures adds over 20 items to the LL's list of magic items.

We round things out with the continental maps.

Oh, and then there is the free adventure included in the mix.

Very nice package for less then 5 bucks ;)

Another Snapple Real Fact

Apparently the earlier Snapple Real-Facts are retired but can still be found online. I particularly like real fact #1.

A Goldfish's attention span is 3 seconds.

Think about that for a second... actually, make that 3 seconds. Boom, it's gone. On to the next thing.

So, if we made out next OSR styled landshark based on the Goldfish, you'd have a terror that is easily distracted (and would be a real pretty gold-orange color but I digress). Land-Goldie if you will. And if you over feed it, it dies. Throw some more peasants in it's way. Wait, that's a Chivalry & Sorcery move. Yes, I am trying really hard to wade thru the 2nd edition, but I seem to have the attention fan of a goldfish.

Review - Weird Fantasy Grindhouse Edition Boxed Set (LotFP) - Part The First

Yes, this will be multi part - it has to be - there's too much for my normal "Mini-Review".  ;)

In any case, this part will be about the presentation.

I've had the PDFs of the WF GH Edition for a while now as they were included with my preorder (awesome way to do business James - print and free PDF as a package deal gives instant gratification as well as the joy of a package to open later).  I wanted to wait until I had the hard copies in my hand before I started any kind of review... so lets start.

The box art for the GH Edition is the same as was used in the Deluxe Edition, which is fine - its the art I think of when I imagine the Weird Fantasy RPG.  Why fix what isn't broken.

It includes 3 books:  Rules & Magic, Referee and Tutorial.  Also included are some character sheets and a set of RPG dice.  Oh, and a sheet with the OGL (I wondered where that was... heh)

Rules and Magic is what it says it is, the rules of the game.  Cover art is very striking.

My issue isn't with the art, its with the use of the art when its the used as "Header Art", or whatever you want to call it.  Basically, repetitive art that takes up about 20% of a page for no other reason then it's there.  I like my rulebook pages to be as uncluttered as possible.  That's why I HATE books that have artwork or other designs behind the written pages or around the edges.  James isn't guilty of neither of those (Kudo's to James).  I just find header art to be a waste of space and paper.  Pet peeve of mine.  Feel free to ignore it ;)

The cover to the Tutorial is less shocking then i think it was intended to be.  Still good tho'.

The cover to the Referee book is Mullen.  "Nuff said!

The books are bound, not stapled.  My books have some very thin glue residue on the top edges of the pages. No big deal, but if it was thicker, you'd have to be careful the first time flipping thru so as to not risk damaging the pages.  Stapled books tend to not have the lifespan of bound books (the paper breaks around the staples and then the pages fall out) but they do allow for laying flat on a table, which you can't do with this edition.  Then again, this edition should put up with a lot more abuse at the gaming table.

The character sheets are top notch.  I can see why James has questioned his need for a GM screen - these sheets cover 90% of what you need (spells need to be listed separately by the player).

The included dice are small but useable by most.  My fiancée would never be able to use them, but then she couldn't read the dice included in the T&T 7.x Boxed Set Editions either.  Box size determines the size of what will actually fit in said box.

As for the PDF versions, they are perfect replicas of the print versions.  Well done James.  If I had a complaint about the Deluxe Edition of Weird Fantasy, it's that the PDFs seem like an after thought.  This time around, they are a selling point.

End Part the First.

I'm Still Here, and So Are You!

Guess the day was off... again.

Alright, since I didn't see any suddenly unoccupied moving vehicles when we were out driving prior to, during and after the 6pm kick-off time, I think it is safe to assume that the kook was just that... a kook.

Doomsayers have shown up fairly frequently as background figures in RPG sessions I ran during college, probably because NYC is full of them.  The trick would be to have one of these loons actually be right, but for all the wrong reasons.  Of course, it would be up the the PCs to save the world.

The major problem with an adventure like this, is that it doesn't work well commercially (or even given away for free).  Any adventure that can bring the campaign to a complete and utter end if the PCs fail has to be tailored to the PCs AND the campaign.  I'd hate to see my game come to an awkward stop due to a generic end of the world adventure.

Time for me to do some reading and write some checks to pay off some bills.  I was hoping a rapture-like experience would have done away with those responsibilities ;)

We Need More Power Captain!

It looks like the battery in my Macbook is kaput.  The Macbook is less then 2 years old and only used on vacations and weekend getaways (this ain't no vacation either).  Needless to say I'm a wee bit disappointed.
It's not like the power source its attached with anything stronger then some magnetism.

Assuming I'm still here after 6PM EST I've got some reviews I want to get to tonight, such as this one:

From the blurb (review later - God willing ;)

RAPTURE The End of Days... is just the beginning.  The year is 2644. Humanity has cast off religion and mi­grated to the stars. With science as the new savior, man­kind believed himself to be creating new Edens in the far flung heavens. But God kept His promise. The day of Rapture came. Those who walked the Earth with a righteous spirit and pure soul were taken into the loving arms of the Lord. Those who skulked with the devil, ignoring God's divine laws, have been cast aside to face the horrors awaiting all sinners. As promised, the Earth burned. The clouds evap orated. The rule of man, of reason and science, came to an end. But that was on Earth. And not all of Mankind was on Earth. These far flung few who remain, forgotten by God, or per­haps given a second chance, now face a future where good and evil have come into sharp relief; where science has proven to be a false idol, yet one that is vital for survival. With communications between colonies severed, no one knows for sure what has befallen humanity. The isolated pockets of human colonists are returning to the old ways - political squabbling, superstition and factional infighting are on the rise. As a tide of distrust rises among the survi­vors, unexplainable horrors are emerging. The legions of Satan are real... And they are coming for you.   Praise for Rapture: The End of Days "This is the most clever, original setting concept I've seen since Day After Ragnarok. Someone really needs to make a film of this, right now." - Greg Stanyer "I like this book. It feels very much like a theological sci-fi horror, so it achieves everything it sets out to... The system for "Extras" is one of the most interesting ways I've seen to reward players for followers while making them both incredibly useful and expendable." - Erathoniel Woodenbow (Featured Reviewer)  Inside... Unique rule system that throws your heroes into the tension and fear of sci-fi thrillers. Mimic the dark claustrophobic grittiness of films like Alien and Event Horizon, where players are hunted down one by one. Or pitch your heroes into mass battles against hoards aliens or undead with fast and fun mass combat mechanics. Put the life and death decisions squarely in your players trembling hands. Paranoia and politics. Passion and puzzlement. Rapid character development and an open-ended approach to character backgrounds. You'll have interesting heroes alive and kicking in no time at all. Fear and Madness mechanics that truly reflect the growing terror and insanity of the best thrillers. Unique 'experience the sweet release of death' rules simulate way sci-fi thrillers cut through the cast of heroes until only a lucky few are left standing: as your heroes are killed off - and they will be - their friends will quickly step in, tougher and more desperate to survive than before. A complete universe of terror... A finely crafted blend of hard science fiction and authentic theological mysticism made real. A beautifully realized future history, where science has thrust mankind into the stars... but where God is all too real. The Rapture has come. But, despite the evidence, not everyone believes. Theological struggles, once through dead and buried, are emerging... along with the sinister forces of hell. Rules for on-the-fly technology innovation. Details of colonial nations, corporations and smaller powers scattered through Human Occupied space. Descriptions of the foes of man, both natural and supernatural. An extensive list of dark miracles and natural creature powers to allow the game master to create almost any being to torment the players. Or create your own worlds of mayhem! Alien horrors, zombie outbreaks, deadly unknowns from beyond time and space... For the game master... Tips, tricks and advice on running top-notch game sessions A slew of cunningly deadly adventure seeds to get games up and running fast Deep-indexing lets you get to the rules quickly, without breaking the tension of the game. eBook Features 117 pages of awesome design and artwork Fully printable Deep-linking for easy cross-referencing. iPad friendly. Looks great as a single or double-page spread!

Mother Nature is a Real Mother...

Well, we escaped the thundershowers yesterday, but the rain is back in force today. I really am tired of it. NYC is NOT Seattle. If I wanted rain 7 days a week I'd move west.

Still, I'm holding out hope that tomorrow may actually be nice. Maybe a good day to catch up on reading in the park (I have a sandbox setting for Labyrinth Lord I'd like to review) and maybe some solo gaming (not in the park - I'd look way too weird).

I've been flipping thru the LotFP WF Grindhouse rules, and I do like this presentation better then the first go round. I do think the books could have been shorter by removing some of the repetitive art from the top of certain pages, but what annoys me in a minor way may be another's selling point.

I haven't given Vornheim a proper look in actually book format yet. The PDF turned me off, as it seemed cluttered and busy and a really unpleasant to navigate in PDF. I suspect it works better in dead tree. At least, I hope so ;)

I need to delay that Rapture thing for another 40 or 50 years of no one minds much. Tomorrow is very inconvenient. I have a vet appointment in the morning for the fiancée's dog. She's overdue on her shots.

Zombie Apocalypse Preparation From the CDC

Today's your last chance to prep for the end of the world. If you haven't marked your calendar yet, May 21st, 2011 is the latest date for the Rapture.

Now, if you're like me, earthquakes aren't the fear, its the Zombie Apocalypse. Have no fears tho', the CDC has an emergency plan tailored just for us.

Good to know the government has all the bases covered.

Zombies I can handle. A tsunami may leave me fucked.