The Only Good Spam is From Monty Python

In honor of the 45 spam comments that Blogger caught over the last week (score Blogger 45 / Spammers 0) I figured I'd post some Spam of my own.

Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings wearing horned helmets. Whenever the word "spam" is repeated, they begin singing and/or chanting. A man and his wife enter. The man is played by Eric Idle, the wife is played by Graham Chapman (in drag), and the waitress is played by Terry Jones, also in drag.

Man: You sit here, dear.

Wife: All right.

Man: Morning!

Waitress: Morning!

Man: Well, what've you got?

Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;

Vikings: Spam spam spam spam...

Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...

Vikings: Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!

Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

Wife: Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.

Wife: I don't want ANY spam!

Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?

Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!

Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?

Vikings: Spam spam spam spam... (Crescendo through next few lines...)

Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?

Waitress: Urgghh!

Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!

Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up!

Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.

Wife: I don't like spam!

Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!

Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!

Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.

Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?

Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)

Vikings: (Singing elaborately...) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

The Tavern Will Be Reviewing a Brewery (and other minor tidbits)

So far my wife has been more amused than annoyed by me playing Star Wars over the weekend (we have no living room at the moment, just the double bedroom). With all the cut scenes in the quests / missions she is certainly getting an earful. I was so distracted yesterday that I never posted any free swag. I'll have to make that up tonight as best I can.

I should also have a new review up either tonight or tomorrow. No, it isn't either of LotFP's latest releases. I need time to digest them.

I've been asked by Dylan Hartwell to take a peek at his first OSR adventure release: The Blasphemous Brewery of Pilz! A Tavern reviewing a brewery? heh - should be fun. I need to make sure I have a few beers for the trip ;)

My cat decided to knock some of my Dungeonmorph Dice off my desk - seems she wants to design some dungeons too.

Fight On! 13 Is Out on Lulu

It's not like I don't have enough to read at the moment, but Fight On! # 13 is a Tunnels & Trolls themed issues, so of course I had to pick it up.

I think I've made it as far as 24 ages of the 124 pages it holds.  It's a beast.

5 bucks in PDF - code: DECBOOKS11 drops that by 20% to 4 bucks.

Not a bad deal at all.

Did I mention that Liz Danforth did th cover and the Trollgod had a mini-solo inside?

Another Short Note on Star Wars: The Old Republic

I'm sure everyone is thrilled I'm posting again about the latest MMORPG, but I found something very interesting playing the game last night.  While the Republic may be perceived as Good, and the Empire as Evil, both are really more gray than black or white.  You can make choices as an operative for the Empire that will define your character as good.  Every other game I've played since the original Everquest had lines that were pretty well drawn between good and evil.

It's a nice change.  Of course, game balance is always an issue with MMORPGs, and the character you thought you had may not have the same abilities next time you log in.  That doesn't happen in table top RPGs.  Still, Bioware seems to be bringing some of their strengths to their newest game.

I have a feeling I'll be hooked ;)

Latest Distraction - Star Wars: The Old Republic

Yep, I have my pre-order early access and spent a good part of this evening playing.  It looks like it should be fun as Bioware is involved and in general, they know how to tell a story.  They haven't done a MMORPG yet, so I'll withhold final judgement but it looks promising.

On that note, I'm going to spend some time digging into my Carcosa PDF right now.  James pointed out some technical good ins in the PDF that I hadn't noticed at first glance and I want to check them out.  Sanity roll...

On the 24th Day of Free Gaming swag, My Bartender Gave to Meeeeeee: Judges Guild Traveller Four Sector Set

Yep I didn't get a Free Swag post up last nite.  To make it up to you, here's a free Bundle of Traveller goodies - The Judges Guild Four Sector Set Bundle.  Each of the 4 included sectors is 24 pages long plus maps.  Nearly 100 pages of Classic Traveller goodness, free for the taking.  Or you can buy them all separately at 4 bucks a piece.  the choice, as always, its yours ;)

Just a week to go before Christmas Eve.  I love finding free stuff to give away ;)

Mongoose is Running a 20% Off Sale at RPGNow This Weekend

Just in case a buck was too much for a copy of the Legend RPG, it is 80 cents this weekend ;)

More importantly, Monsters of Legend is 20% off.  As are the rest of the Legends line.  Oh, and other Mongoose stuff.

What Do You Require in Your Gaming PDFs (Technical Question)?

I've touched on this previously, but as the Rag-meister (Jim Raggi) has bestowed upon us a beautifully hyperlinked version of Carcosa, I figured I'd touch upon it again.

Many publishers don't even bother to provide bookmarks in their PDFs, which I would consider a necessary feature for any PDF over 30 odd pages (we can give the smaller pieces a free pass for now).

Hyperlinks in the text is the next step up. I know it's tedious, but Chubby Funster (aka Greg) has included it in his products on occasion, and he works and releases for free.

The hyperlinks have made Carcosa a different reading experience for me so far. I'd love to see the Rag-meister update Isle of the Unknown with hyperlinks (that's a hint son) as I think they would be real useful in a hex based setting as it is.

How important is bookmarking and hyperlinking in your PDF reading experience? Is there something else you'd want done to your PDFs to make them more useful at the gaming table?

On the 23rd Day of free Gaming swag, My Bartender Gave to Meeeeee: Resolute, Adventurer & Genius (Pulp RPG)

Looking for a tight pulp action flavored RPG that wraps up in in about 35 pages?  Look no further - Resolute, Adventurer & Genius might fill your needs (did I mention its free?)

From the blurb:

ONE BOOK
Resolute, Adventurer & Genius is a simple, lightweight roleplaying game of pulp-style action and adventure. Explore lost ancient ruins! Thwart the plans of evildoers and madmen! Face the mysteries of the unknown! This book contains the complete game rules, including character creation, combat, equipment and chase sequences as well as hints for playing pulp-style games in different decades, from the 1910s to the 1940s and beyond.

NO CLASSES
RAG is built on the Wyrm Roleplaying System and uses classic action-adventure fiction archetypes to help describe character capabilities. Players are not restricted to "classes" when designing their characters. By using attributes, skills and special talents, players are free to create whatever character concept they wish.

The Carcosa PDF Is Pretty Damn Good!

There, I said it.  Jim did a very good job with the hyperlinks in the Carcosa PDF.  I've been clicking and clicking.  And clicking some more.  Artwork looks pretty too.  Now if I can only read the text and make my sanity roll...

Yes, I just ordered the Isle of the Unknown and Carcosa in hardcover from Raggi's site.

My peek last nite at Isle of the Unknown was my reviewer copy.  I was impressed with my short look, but I'll be putting time into reading these two over the weekend.  I have a feeling they will both require more then a mini-review to do them justice.

Hopefully I won't come out too scarred from the experience ;)

I Think I'll Trade in Some Sleep For Reading Raggi

Isle of the Unknown barely got a peek last night. It looks awesome at first glance, tho I think I'll need to print out the map for easy reference as I read through the hex based text.

I know Jim is saying that this and Carcosa are super hyper linked or something - I didn't look close enough last night to check properly. I did see a nice bookmark tree in Isle of the Unknown. At this point in PDF publishing that should be an assumed feature - products lacking such should be docked and noted in any review. So, at the very least, Jim has hit my standards for PDF publishing. Yeah, like I set the standards ;)

I think I'll stay up late to read these. Not like I'm sleeping well anyway... heh

Tiger Direct is Putting an HP TouchPad Bundle for Sale This Afternoon

Tiger Direct is offering the 32 GB HP Touchpad for $249 in a bundle that includes a case and bluetooth speakers. I got my TouchPad earlier this fall. It's a decent tablet, and you casn easily hack it to run the Android OS instead of HP's OS for it. It will go on sale at 230 pm TODAY and my email says they expect to sell out inless then 30 minutes. Heres the link: http://www.tigerdirect.com/sectors/campaigns/hp/touchpad_available.asp?SRCCODE=WEM2933TT&cm_mmc=email-_-Main-_-WEM2933-_-tigeremail Just posting this for those looking for a decent tablet on the cheap to read thier RPG PDFs. It has a 10" screen.

On The 22nd Day of Free Gaming Swag, My Barbarian Gave to Meeeee: Barbarians of Lemuria

Sometimes a Barbarian has to do what a barbarian has to do.  Barbarians of Lemuria is a swords & sorcery RPG on the cheap.  Cheap in price, not it quality.  Its a tight game, and as always, it free ;)

Damn You Raggi!

Lamentations of the Flame Princess just released Carcosa and Isle of the Unknown in PDF.

I have a Christmas party right after work today. Damn You Raggi!!!

Bloggle+ Now Working ;)

the Google+ / Blogger integration seems to be complete. You can now have your Blogger post mirrored to your Google+ account as you post it. Now how about they mmake the Blogger and G+ apps on the iPad just a bit more useful and full featured... damn it! it worked for my Saturday Knight Special blog post... didn't work on this one... grrrrrrr!

On The 21st Day of Free Holiday swag, My Bartender Gave to Meeeee! - Fates Worse Than Death, Spare Change Edition

Hey, what can you say about a cyberpunk type game set 70 years in the future that lets you play homeless people and squatters?  It's almost like a futuristic game of OWS ;)

Alright, maybe not - but maybe so.  Fates Worse Than Death is over 280 pages for you to use as is or lift for your near future RPG of choice.  Did I mention its free?

From the blurb:

This is a free light version of Fates Worse Than Death the Role Playing Game, from Vajra Enterprises (makers of Hoodoo Blues and KidWorld). Fates Worse Than Death is a game of violence, fear and hope on the streets of New York City in 2080.

Spare Change Edition is a complete role playing game, with everything you need to play. However, unlike the full version, the Spare Change Edition only has character creation options and setting information for creating and playing characters who are street people (squatters and homeless people, most of whom cannot get legitimate jobs and survive by a variety of illicit means). 

Google+ + Blogger = Glogger or Bloggle+?

Apparently you can now link your Google+ profile to your Blogger account, resulting in Google+ automatically posting you Blogger posts when you post them to Blogger.  Or some such.

It only took Google how long to integrate them?  I've been mirroring my post to Facebook and Twitter for over a year.

Anyhow, lets see how seamlessly it actually works...

heres the link from Google

edit:
Hmmm, I never got my pop up.  Bugger

Tome of Adventure Design + Dungeonmmorph Dice = RPG Goodness

I'm expecting the above combination to go together as well as peanut butter and chocolate ;)

I love the dice. They do feel a bit big in the hand, especially if you're looking to roll more then 2 at a time, but as I said yesterday, any smaller and they wouldn't be easily read.

I'm going to see if they work well with the Tome of Adventure Design. I love well done tables, and my God this is a book of well done tables. I really need to give it a proper review. Heck, I really need to spend some more time reading it, or better yet, putting it to use and posting the results.

On the 20th Day of free Holiday Gaming swag, My Bartender Gave to Meeeee.... Spirit Magic (Legends RPG)

Remember the Legends RPG?  The one that is Mongoose Runequest 2 with the serial numbers scratched off - you know, the one that cost a buck in PDF?

Here's the Spirit Magic sourcebook for the game, adding spirit magic to you game.  About the only way to get something cheaper then a buck is to get it for free ;)

100% open content too!

Dice to Die For - Dungeonmorph Dice!

I was going to make a post about the Policeman's Prayer to St Michael, as there is an awful lot of gaming possibilities in that prayer, but with the events I touched on at the other side of my blogging happening earlier today, I'll give that a day or so.

Instead, imagine my surprise when I found a package at my door.  The company name didn't immediately ring a bell, but when I started opening the box, it hit me.  These were my Dungeonmorph Dice from Inkwell Ideas.

Look at these picks and tell me they don't rock!

The dice were a little larger then I expected, but it makes sense.  If they were smaller it would be impossible to read and use.  Now I have infinite dungeon possibilities at my fingertips.  This is the project that got me looking at Kickstarter.