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Saturday, March 5, 2011

1990: The Bronx Warriors - Make the Pain Stop!

Amazon Prime now offers thousands of free to stream movies and tv show episodes.  While flipping thru last nite, I saw 1990: The Bronx Warriors.  I never heard of it, but figured "It's the Bronx, its gotta be cool!"

Let's see... it's an Italian produced movie from 1983, filmed in NYC with Italian and American actors... so yes, there's lots of dubbing of voices.  I can handle that.  What I can't handle is the actual film locations.

You can't (well, couldn't) see the World Trade Center from the Bronx, but I guess they thought it would make for a good scene, so they filmed shots on the Queens and Brooklyn sides of the East River... you get to see the Brooklyn Bridge, Manhattan Bridge, Williamsburg Bridge... you get the idea, no where near the Bronx.

But ya see, Da Bronx is No Man's Land.... it's just gangs (except for the scenes with kids playing basketball in a park, or traffic and truck deliveries in the background).  Ah, but the gangs... we get a Biker gang with Glowing Skulls (one skull must have had problems -  it wouldnt stay lit), a NYC Pimp gang, we get a Roller Hockey gang complete with hockey sticks and really bad uniforms, we have a Tap Dancing Gang with black canes and metallic makeup... we even have a Neanderthal gang (no idea how they survive).

I'd try to explain the plot, but why?  I'd ruin the surprise for you.  You need to see for yourself just how bad this movie is.  My girl fell asleep 15 minutes into it... I needed to see how it wrapped up (it really didn't).  Apparently it spawned a sequel... I may just have to search it out, just for shits and giggles ;)

1 comment:

  1. Fortunately, the sequel is available as a more palatable Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode called Escape 2000. One of the best running gag episodes of the series. You can find it on YouTube starting here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxW8mHTXh3E

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