Thursday, November 18, 2010

Capping the Troll God Saga

Well, I've spent the last 3 days trying to decide whether or not to post the Troll God's apology letter to Trollhalla.  Yes, it's pretty personal (at least for something that was sent to every member of the Trollhalla community).  Revealing and insightful too.  Or not.  I just don't know how I feel about it in the total sense of it.  Or I do, and I am not comfortable with it.

The thing is, I was asked to post open letters to further Ken's cause, and then after the change of heart, I'm kinda left by myself pissing in the wind.

I had no horse in the race, but I added my voice upon request.  In the long run, this is a pimple on the ass of Trollhalla, Ken, T&T and whoever else got caught up in it.  It too shall pass, and will be forgotten by most.  Still, I was a pimple popper in my teens.  Drain the bastid and let it heal instead of festering for weeks.

Which means I probably should post the damn thing so I can put the thing to bed on this blog.

Where should I begin?
You can't imagine how bad I feel right now.
Tom Loney is right.  I am a hypocrite and a bad person who thinks only of his own welfare.  No matter how charming I may be, I'm really a sociopath, and if you stay with me long enough, you are bound to be hurt.  Just ask my wife, Cathy, if that isn't true.
The only thing I can say in my own defense is that I never really wanted to harm anyone--not anyone.  I don't hurt people because I want to hurt them.  I do it because I can't help myself.
I apologize for turning Trollhalla into a tool to be used against a single person (namely James Shipman). I apologize for asking people to join me in spreading news of my personal argument with James Shipman. I apologize for starting a crusade, and then bailing out when it looked like I might be the first person killed in that crusade.  I apologize for looking after my own interests and not considering the interests of others who might be involved.
I have never claimed to be a perfect, or even a "good" person.  I know how many flaws and weaknesses I have.  I had rather hoped that no one else would ever find out, but of course these things come out here and there.
I can promise that such things won't happen again. At least I'll try to make certain that they don't.
Anyone who wishes may feel free to forward this apology or put it up on their websites. I hope you don't, but . . . YOU ARE FREE AND EMPOWERED TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.  I am not your leader, and you don't have to answer to me or to anyone but yourself and God for your actions.  Believe me, I pay for my sins every day.
Ken St. Andre


  1. Wow. What a mess. Here's hoping everyone can move on and game their guts out.

  2. Yep, real mess.

    Read some MS&PE tonight. Nice flexible system, and i have a solo that Dave Arneson wrote for it... need to carve some time out this weekend to enjoy it and put the mess behind

  3. Regardless of Ken's burying the hatchet, a lot of other folks' material has apparently been used without permission and despite attempts to resolve the situation amicably. (That is, unless working artists with axes to grind are engaged in an internet-wide conspiracy against James Shipman.)

    I don't have a dog in the fight, but I also won't ever spend another dime on a product sold by Outlaw Press.


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