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Friday, August 5, 2016

What if there Were Game Industry Awards for What Really Matters to the Old School Gamer?

The ENnies are tonight.

I know, may the excitement never end.

But what if there were gaming awards for stuff that REALLY mattered to the "Old School Gamer"?

After some brainstorming last night with my usual, unnamed partner in crime we came up with The ORC Awards - Old Roleplaying Crap Awards.

So what would WE, your secret cabal of judges award prizes (Pewter and Lead) for?

  • Best Kickstarter Drama 
  • Most likely to not actually be used
  • Most likely to have its OGL content ripped word for word
  • Most reused piece of stock art
  • Worst layout by a professional
  • Most likely to stir dirty thoughts (pre Internet porn era)
  • Worst pre ogl D&D ripoff 
  • Best Maps with Worst Setting Support
  • Worst binding 
  • Excellence in Chain mail Bikini Art
  • Worst DTRPG product: free and for money
  • Most derivative concept
  • Most irrelevant commenter (and RPG blog or forum commenter)
  • Stupidest dice innovation
  • Least necessary PC race Or class
  • Most overworked mechanic to solve problem no one has
  • Worst con game title
  • Most respectful use of 'fuck' in a gaming publication
  • Least respectful in same
  • Special category: White Knight Comment Enabling Award

So, what say you? Do we request nominations for the ORC Awards?

Edit - We're open to doing legit awards too ;)


  1. All! I think you forgot most picked on by the "Butthurt" crowd for whatever is the taboo of the day.

    1. of course we are open to suggestions of additional categories :)

    2. Frightening how you captured a good portion of the OSR designers. While there are the awesome ones, there are the WTF ones too. Hmmmm makes me wonder if I fall under any of those categories?

    3. Let's go positive! Best nostalgia feel and flow of an RPG. What game has anyone picked up and instantly been taken back to their first experience?

    4. I like your nostalgia award idea, James.

      Can I be nominated for the "that guy who likes what other people say in comments, but offers nothing substantive himself" award?

    5. Isn't the OSR basically fuelled by nostalgia? :-)

  2. I think winners of actual awards should be given "Tenkar Tokens" (TM). Winners of dubious awards can be given fertilizer for their creative garden beds.

    Oh...? I am hearing I just may be up for the "Most Irrelevant Commenter in a RPG Blog" and "Most Irrelevant Commenter in a RPG Forum" awards. Excelsior!

  3. I'm not a big fan of critical awards. I'd say give awards for good things, and let the market speak to weed out the bad things. Negative awards will just cause needless strife.

  4. Heh.... it's *IS* hard to think of something more Old-School than negative awards... :-)

  5. Don't forget "Best re-re-rehash of (insert beloved TSR module here)"

  6. OMG great idea. I will have some nominees for you shortly.

  7. Also: how about the "Best game depiction of the art we drew on the back of our high school notebooks that honestly we should be embarrassed about in middle-age but apparently gamer mid-life crises are weird and unfortunately most of us can't afford cool sports cars so here's a module with a naked demon chick and a slime zombie having sex with Jesus" award.

  8. Oh, this is fun: Best "Uncomfortable and possibly TMI re-depiction of the MM succubus" award

  9. Putting so much energy into negativity is what often turns me off from the OSR.

    1. I think that a healthy dose of cynicism is a positive to avoid warped sense of "rainbow & unicorns" (or little pony) reality. It is all about the balance. Erik has that special sense of humor that only certain people can truly appreciate.

    2. I just don't see how celebrating awesome stuff like Red and Pleasant Land, Mutant Year Zero, Frog God Games' Razor Coast, Call of Cthulhu and so on somehow needs to be mocked.

    3. Yeah, I get what you saying'. Those are all great products. I think the mocking is more on the relevance of the presenter than the participants.

    4. I love the OSR and deeply respect the creators of the amazing books I have on my shelves and use every week....but satire and dark humor have their place, and always have. We were doing stuff like this in the 80's in fanzines and having fun. If you can't laugh at yourself, if you can't appreciate the (sometimes bleak) humor in what you love then you are missing an important element of your hobby that is --for better or worse-- a part of it.

    5. defense of Dyson's position though I find that the current internet era really clouds the definition of what is fun self-mockery and what is deliberate mischief/hate. Which unfortunately makes it harder to parse out the fun stuff from the cruel stuff.

    6. Man, Dyson... ease up a little, why so uptight all the time?

  10. The Ennies are tonight? Cool. I'll be monitoring Twitter for the Piss-fits I'm sure will be thrown.

    1. ah man! you mean I'm not up for a No-Prize?

    2. I'll be avoiding it for the same reason!

  11. I'm glad some folks "get it" - I'll have a follow up post on the Diana Jones Awards, who apparently don't even follow their own nomination rules...

  12. Isn't that what the "Three Castles Award" is? (On a serious level)

  13. I think I could compete pretty effectively for least needed class. In fact, that's usually what I aim for when I write them!

  14. A few more categories:

    Best repackaging of a hack of a simulacrum of a clone of a published game.

    Best game theoretically in production that will likely never see the light of day due to the writer's real-life concerns and/or gamer ADD [non-crowdfunded].

    *yeah, I've got a few projects that qualify for the second category...



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