Sunday, June 19, 2011

A Story of Cats & a Dog

Once upon a time, two kittens were brought to their new home.  It had two floors and a basement, and the domain was theirs.  Fritzy, the brother, quickly learned that sucking on his sister Heidi's neck kept her submissive (and he enjoyed it in a sexual sense, even as a eunuch cat).  Still, they loved each other, played like young cats play and all was good in their world.

A few years later, another kitten would visit.  When she stayed, the upper level of their domain was closed off (as in truth, the humans had two separate apartments, but the cats cared not for such limitations), and the visitor enjoyed her privacy.  The visitor rarely stayed longer then a week, and the two sides never met during the visits.

Then, one day, the visitor's human companion passed before her time, and Ashley moved in permanently.  Fritzy and Heidi relinquished the upstairs to Ashley, but the transition was not smooth.  Ashley was young and untrained in the world of feline manners, and many a disagreement took turns for the worse.  Only once did it come to blows, but many words were exchanged, and Ashley excelled at shadow boxing.

Finally, a pecking order was established, but like many things in the world of cats, it makes little sense to humans.  Fritzy trumped his sister, yet his sister intimidated Ashley, just as Ashley now dominated Fritzy.  An ongoing game of Rock, Paper, Scissors thus ensued.

So it was until the dog appeared.  Chloe, a long haired dachshund, appeared one day in the company Ashley's human companion's significant other.  Chloe, not understanding what a cat was, and the cats, fairly sure they did not want to know what a dog was, could not come to any sort of terms.  Chloe would bark, the cats would hide, Chloe would leave and the cats would return.

Ashley made  the first attempt at learning what a "dog" was.  Waiting for the dog to fall asleep, she decided to smell the dog, as Ashley was a cat that smelled things before doing anything.  So she smelled the dog, then sneezed, waking the dog, causing some excitement.  At which point, Ashley calmly but surely, hid beneath the bed again.

Heidi first used avoidance, then ignorance, deciding that if the dog didn't exist, it wouldn't be there at all.  So she pretended it wasn't there.

Fritzy saw himself as the only one that could make a stand, and thus decided, after months of observing and hissing from a distance, to charge the dog.  The dog did flee upon the charge, finding itself cornered by a cat that stopped 2 feet away and sat on his haunches, watching the dog try to climb a wall and yelp. Sensing his new found power, he chased the dog again, who, finding herself cornered, cried for her human companion as Fritzy "Shadow Boxed" her from 2 feet away.

Still, the dog was not all tail between her legs, as when Heidi the cat decided to cross her path and look down, Chloe saw the chase was on, and did chase the cat until the cat did jump on a table to escape.

Thus, the game of Rock, Paper, Scissors has new complications and dynamics. In the end, a new pecking order will be established.  Feelings will be hurt, adrenaline will flow, but each will know their place.  Until they don't.  At which point, all will start anew.


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