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Thursday, December 3, 2009

Rant Time - Outsourcing Sucks Day Old Meat Patties

My rant has very little to do with RPGs, roleplaying, VTTs, e-book readers, computer games, video games and all that other shite. Nope, my rant has everything to do with the most evil of business practices: outsourcing.

I really don't care much how outsourcing affects our economy, moves jobs overseas, and all that other hooey that has to do with economics. No, my rant is much more personal.

I am fed up to HERE ^ with customer service that is outsourced to other countries. Why, as an American (or any other -ican you can think of) should I have to deal with "Faux-Americans" when I call a major bank's customer service?

My first call got me "Cheryl", who, with the ever so strong hint of an Indian accent, repeatedly asked me "What is your password? I can give hint. 'B", as in basey-ball". AArghhhh! She transferred me to "Lenard", who also asked me my password with the same inflection. I explained that 20 years ago when I opened this account there were no damn passwords. He told me all was fine in the world, and my transaction would be processed.

Two days later I'm still waiting on authorization. I call and get "Roland", who... guess what... asks me again for my ever luvin' fig eatin' password. He passes me on to "Kate", who seems annoyed with my call, but doesn't ask for my password. Kate apologizes via "The Script", tells me all is right with the world and sends me on my way. A quick call to say "give it a go" and I sit back finally relax. It is done. But no, apparently it isn't, because I'm told again, for the second time AFTER dealing with customer service, that all is STILL NOT right in the world.

So, I call back again. I can see their computer screens are telling them I'm a repeat caller, and now I'm pissin' vinegar, so "Noel" (sounding more like a "Patel", but no matter) realizes "The Script" will not solve this problem and I'm not going away. She makes the decision to contact someone "Who can help you better".

Two minutes later I'm talking with "Linda", who, with her cute Texas drawl, proceeds to update my account, verify my information and notices that 19 years ago someone keyed my mother's maiden name in with the first letter off by a neighboring key. She takes my work number and calls me back in 10 minutes after doing the voodoo that she do so well... and finally, after 3 calls and 6 contacts my ever-lovin' purchase is approved.

Remember the Alamo... it might be the last bastion of effective customer service we have left, assuming you can escape the script that the outsourced customer service is limited to work with.

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