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Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Wayward Kickstarter - 4thWar Equipment - Wargaming Table - (built by Anton Jackson)

Wait, you don't remember Anton Jackson, the homeless character from In Living Color? He could do magic with a cardboard box:

Apparently, so can the the Italians that are bring us cardboard gaming tables at the 4thWar Equipment Wargaming Table Kickstarter.

Where shall we start? Despite what the Kickstarter says, they aren't located in NY, NY. Or maybe they are, as the Kickstarter appears to have been written with a NYC Public High School education (I live here, I should know):
Put the LEGS on your HOBBY! Fully crafted cardboard table for wargamer and tabletop gamer. By a player mind for players fight! 
If you have any trouble understanding english, in the link below you can find the video with ITA & FRANCE subtitles: (strangely enough, the English subtitles are as hard to understand as the English is)
 Just who the fuck proofread this before going live?

anyone want a "chep kit"?

and I really can't make heads or tales out of this shit:

but in any case, they do supply boobies:

it's not like you could put HER on the table - it's just cardboard. Actually, my wife says that would be the true stress test for this table - damn, but my wife is as bad as me.

You want to raise $99,000? maybe spend a couple of hundred to have a native english speaker proofread your project.

I sincerely blame +Jason Paul McCartan for bringing this to my attention...


  1. For gamers who prefer bigger boobies... er, I mean... yeah. Boobs!

  2. Yeah the rack distracted me too.. DAMN BOOBS!

  3. £83 for a table I can ruin just by spilling my drink! Yeah, that's a good deal in any abused language.

  4. This is the pinnacle of Poorhammer!

  5. Good to see we've finally reached the day that a machine translation can fully replace a human translator.... oh, never mind.

    *shouts off mic* Hey guys, we still need to put some hours in on that universal translator. It's not quite there yet.

  6. I'm going to start my own kick-starter called,

    "Eight Milk crates and Plywood" The most versatile and amazing gaming table ... ever...

    Hopefully I can get that girl for my promotional shots as well.

  7. Boobs have a name: Giorgia Vecchini. P