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Sunday, July 5, 2015

Dysfunctional Chainmail Bikini - Sidetracking the Weekly Game Night

Tonight's derail was classic D&D art. Sharing pics from google search from Tramp, Otis, Elmore, Dee, Caldwell and others. Then we hit this piece from Wilmingham and the derail dreailed.


I'll forgive the cloak that is acting like a cloaker.

I'll ignore the fact that the fighter's hands are so muscular, it is no wonder he couldn't hold on to his sword.

I'll turn a blind eye to the idea that the elf's shield looks like it wants to bite the female fighter's back.

That chainmail bikini top? Please.

But then I looked at the bikini bottom. The back piece of chainmail is held in place by the belt pressing it against her ass.

WTF?

How did I not see this as a 14 year old who already had a succubus page in the Monster Manual that was facing wear?

How the hell did this pass muster, even back in the day?

Well, that and it's a pretty shitty piece of art.

K, time for sleep. Maybe I'll make this piece the wallpaper on my laptop ;)

24 comments:

  1. Just realized chainmail bikinis imply female fighters are more badass than male ones. They clearly aren't worried about a lack of armor, and they apparently have the skill to back up that arrogance, seeing as they don't take a penalty to AC

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  2. The thing that always bugged me about pictures like this is that D&D never worked for the whole barbarian-in-a-loincloth thing. Plate armour only cost 60gp in B/X anyways, so it wasn't hard for your fighters get. But being the front-line fighter with a crap AC was just going to get you killed. You could be that guy in Runequest with its rules for parrying and defence/dodge (depending on edition), and you could even be that guy in T&T. But unless the three of them just came out of a protracted encounter with a rust monster, there is no excuse for being in a dungeon dressed like that.

    Also, someone should have told the elf that sleeveless unitard and a cape isn't a good look for anybody.

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    1. Elves have never had good taste. They're the gaudiest of the fay

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    2. One of many issues with D&D and its alleged source material. And a reason not to use D&D when one wants to emulate the alleged source material.

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    3. To which source material are you referring? There were quite a number of them

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  3. The things we ridicule about D&D eventually become the things we love about it.

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    1. Nope...they remain ridiculous and reasons to play better games.

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. I just assumed it was magic since there is no historical prescident I am aware of.

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  6. Figures the pansy unitard-n-cape elf is just standing there watching while the hawt redhead does the grunt work. Bloody elves.

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  7. Bahahhaa! Love it. The whole piece is so flawed...and yet so awesome. Gotta live sidetracks.

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  8. Helga the horrible clearly has no need for an AC of 8 or better.

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  9. At least she has the shirt on. Plenty of fan-service pieces would've skipped that.

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  10. It's wild and fun and I love it! If lack of 'realism' offends, assume 'chainmail' armor = what she's wearing. Or whatever version your players prefer. That's what I did, makes everyone happy.

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  11. It's wild and fun and I love it! If lack of 'realism' offends, assume 'chainmail' armor = what she's wearing. Or whatever version your players prefer. That's what I did, makes everyone happy.

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  12. Venger is right but even so, the ridicule is all too often lazy hindsight. And I would add, anyone who would use an image like this as a reason why one should play other games has a problem of perspective that art won't be able to solve. Personally, I enjoyed this image back in the day and I enjoy it now. It definitely fueled my imagination that strong, powerful, and pleasing-to-look-at heroes were encountering dangerous and vile enemies in some quest and I still see that in this image. The chainmail bikini can come or go. But I wish more modern D&D art had this kind of evocative angle. Even as a fan of the 5E game, and as good as the art is, it rarely has those qualities, going for much more "grand" imagery, than this work here.

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    1. Wow, nailed it, you could not have commented on the subject any better.

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  13. Sucks now....absolutely. Sucks then? Soooo much stuff sucked then but it WAS ALL WE HAD. We were more forgiving then because very few actual good artists were doing fantasy art...especially for RPGs, where it was mostly amateur hour as far as the eye could see.

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  14. You are crazy. That picture is awesome.

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  15. Bill Willingham art was always a bit hit and miss in the old D&D stuff (I was not a big fan of his work). Trampier and Caldwell were almost always solid on the other hand. Dee was/is a bit like Willingham... Sometimes awesome, sometimes wtf? Otis was always a bit weird, but he certainly had a hallmark style.

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    1. I always really enjoyed Willingham. Some of my favorites from the era were his.

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  16. Interestingly, in my game, the naked fighter would actually be more B.A. because of how I work XP and Armor. Armor reduces damage taken, and less damage taken means less XP. Less XP means slower levels. So if a fighter decided to forgo armor entirely, she'd level up probably twice as fast as a full-plate tank style fighter. Assuming she survived her first combats, of course...

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  17. I got to say we can criticize his art that's fine, but this is early art for the man, have you seen his current work? Incredible.

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