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Friday, January 8, 2016

Tavern Predictions for 2016 - or - Please Don't Pee in the Scrying Pool

I've been doing Tavern Predictions for the past few years. No idea how accurate I've been, but that's not the point, is it? The point is the predictions themselves.

Of course, we need to bring Grumpy the Dwarf out of his long, alcohol induced nap to make the proper predictions. He'll be using the scrying pool in The Tavern's basement. Just ignore the runoff from the privy. Some of our patrons have poor aim (and even worse bowels, but I digress.)

Here's Grumpy!

Yeah, yeah. Can't let a poor bastid dwarf sleep for a few more months, can ya? Hey, who da' fuk threw a perfectly good cigar in the scrying pool?

1 - No longer known as Ken Whitman, Whit Whitman will change his name to Mike Nystul in an effort to confuse the authorities.

2 - Mike Nystul will take the name of Earl Grey and be forever known as the man who introduced tea to Captain Picard.

3 - Palladium Games will change it's name to Uranium Games in the hopes that the nuclear half-life will be a hedge against any future bankruptcies.

4 - D&D 5e will see the beginnings of a new "5.5" editions, to be known as D&D Forever - or at least until the suits at Hasbro need to milk the cow a bit more.

5 - Frog God Games will seek a princess to kiss the frog in an advertising promotion. Social Justice Warriors worldwide will be so offended, they will go on a frog killing spree. A half dozen SJWs and two frogs will meet their untimely demise.

6 - Monte Cook Games will release yet another game whose text can't be read because of the layers of watermarking beneath it and yet it will raise over $500k on Kickstarter.

7 - White Star will go supernova and destroy not only other sci-fi RPGs, but the very gaming universe itself. Strangely enough, the only game to survive will be Numenera.

8 - Lesser Gnome will produce a 3rd Kickstarter. It will not be named Pimps & Hoes. Or will it...

9 - The Gygax Memorial will itself receive a memorial - The Memorial to the Memorial of Gygax. It will list neither a start nor end date, just an infinity sign.

10- The Tavern will replace the green lights in front with red lights and the barkeep will turn in his navy blues for a pink suit and a white fedora.

5 comments:

  1. Dammit, you're very close on a couple of those...

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  2. What you don't want to attach some percentages to your predictions like a good Bayesian? How are we supposed to bet on under/overs?

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    Replies
    1. the community sets the over / under ;)

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    2. What's the over under on another Tenkar's Taproom post =D?

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    3. the odds are good it will be back soon :)

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